撰文:張傑醫生

這個年代,父母對孩子的保護,比以往任何一個年代都會有過之而無不及。原因可能是子女的數目下降,以及大家的生活質素改善,所以父母對子女的看管,不但時間多了,照顧的範圍也廣泛得多。在這種保護(可能是過度)下,往往會讓孩子很自我,並且漠視其他人的重要性。在父母的角度,自己一定有所偏心,面對自己孩子的寬容度較高。面對孩子的不當行為,父母自己會為孩子提出藉口解釋。這種人之常情的做法,卻有機會讓孩子變得放肆。所以,在左右做人難的境況下,若果有人肯「出口幫教」的話,父母都應該感激。其中以下是「重要人物」。

 1.   老師

老師是面對孩子最長時間的其中一個人。我們寧願老師在平日與孩子相處時,直接指出孩子的對和錯。這種直接的訊息可以好好讓孩子「入腦」。有時候,面對負面的批評,孩子當然會不開心,但是卻可以令孩子知道大家底線是甚麼。故此,父母應該感激老師嚴格的教導,最好不要隨便投訴老師的苦心。

 2.   長輩

許多長輩對自己的子女可能是很嚴厲,但對於隔了一代的小孩子,一般都會變得很寬鬆,甚至比孩子的父母更甚。不過,長輩的地位和做人經驗其實比任何人還好。所以,他們「讚一句」比其他人的勸告更為有效。問題是,他們是否願意做壞人的角色。如果肯,父母應該感激他們的協助。撰文:張傑醫生撰文:張傑醫生

 

 

Written by: Dr. Cheung Kit

In this era, parents’ protection of their children surpasses that of any previous generation. This may be due to the decrease in the number of children and the improvement in living standards, leading to parents spending more time and providing more comprehensive care for their children. Under such (possibly excessive) protection, children often become very self-centered and disregard the importance of others. From the parents’ perspective, they are inevitably biased and more tolerant of their own children. When faced with their children’s inappropriate behavior, parents tend to make excuses for them. This common human behavior, however, may lead to children becoming unruly. Therefore, in the difficult situation of balancing right and wrong, if someone is willing to “offer help and guidance,” parents should be grateful. The following are “important figures.”

1.       Teachers

Teachers are among the people who spend the most time with children. We would prefer teachers to directly point out the rights and wrongs to children during their daily interactions. This direct message can effectively “sink in” for the children. Sometimes, facing negative criticism, children will naturally feel unhappy, but it helps them understand the boundaries. Therefore, parents should appreciate the strict guidance of teachers and avoid casually complaining about their efforts.

2.      Elders

 

Many elders may be very strict with their own children but tend to be much more lenient with their grandchildren, sometimes even more so than the children’s parents. However, the status and life experience of elders are actually superior to anyone else’s. Therefore, their “one word of praise” can be more effective than others’ advice. The question is whether they are willing to play the role of the bad guy. If they are, parents should be grateful for their assistance.

1.   醫護人員

醫護人員一向是被人較為尊重。但同時,孩子卻對醫療的程序較反感。所以,在診症和治療時,孩子的反應往往是一個好的教導機會。如果醫護人員(包括醫生和護士)肯在孩子不合作的行為時作出指導,孩子必定會較為明白。雖然不一定馬上改正,但是在這人生學習過程中,必定有所幫助。

2.   路人甲

有時一些沒有直接關係的旁人,在孩子行為不恰當時,若果能夠馬上指出,能夠達到當頭棒喝之效。對於在場的父母親,可能會有點尷尬,但是想真一點,這對孩子的行為是有好處的。

 

在處於成長學習期的孩子,在適當時候是有好好的教導,尤其是行為上有偏差時。所以,若果父母不願意做「醜人」時,若有其他人肯出聲糾正,我們是應該感恩和感激。

 1.       Medical Personnel

Medical personnel have always been relatively respected. However, children often have an aversion to medical procedures. Therefore, during consultations and treatments, children’s reactions often present a good teaching opportunity. If medical personnel (including doctors and nurses) are willing to provide guidance when children exhibit uncooperative behavior, the children will likely understand better. Although they may not correct their behavior immediately, it will certainly help in their life learning process.

 2.      Passersby

Sometimes, unrelated bystanders can immediately point out inappropriate behavior in children, which can have a startlingly effective impact. For the parents present, this might be a bit embarrassing, but thinking it through, it is beneficial for the child’s behavior.

 Children in their growth and learning phase need proper guidance, especially when their behavior deviates. Therefore, if parents are unwilling to play the “bad guy,” we should be grateful and appreciative if others are willing to speak up and correct the child.