資料來源：兒童遊戲治療導師賴舜薇
仔仔喜歡公主書及模型，又喜歡粉紅色
小朋友喜歡的公仔玩具有很多類型，不少家長可能會擔心，自己的兒子喜歡公主，喜歡粉紅色，又或擔心女兒喜歡玩玩具車。這種擔心是甚麼呢？家長又真的需要擔心嗎？我們總是習慣了女孩子穿著粉紅色裙子和戴著粉紅色帽子，但見到她玩消防車與耍劍，就會覺得不妥，其實在心理學上叫作「性別角色期待」。
性別角色期待，是指社會和文化期待某種性別從事某種活動內容，所以大家對自己的子女有一定的性別角色期待其實是很正常。不過我們要留意的是，如果我們將這種期待變成了對某種類別人士固有的看法，這樣會很容易抹殺了個人差異和他的特質了。
Source: Children’s Play Therapy Instructor Lai Shun-Mei
Little boy likes princess books and models, and also likes pink.
There are many types of dolls and toys that children like, and many parents may worry that their son likes princesses and pink or worry that their daughter likes to play with toy cars. What is this worry? Do parents really need to worry? We are used to seeing girls wearing pink dresses and hats, but when we see them playing with fire trucks and swords, we feel uneasy. This is actually called “gender role expectations” in psychology.
Gender role expectations refer to the social and cultural expectations that certain genders engage in certain activities. Therefore, it is normal for everyone to have certain gender role expectations for their children. But we need to be aware that if we turn these expectations into innate views of certain types of people, it will be easy to get rid of the differences between people and what makes them unique.
以性別教導男孩或女孩應該有何指定表現，以及決定他們的志趣和性格，這個我們叫做「性別角色定型」。性別角色定型會限制他們天賦潛能發展，如果我們想培養他興趣廣泛又有創意，以及剛柔並濟健康人格的小朋友，我們便要保護他們自由探索空間。尤其要留意他們會否在這個探索過程中，受到社會上其他人言語欺凌。
“Gender role stereotyping” means teaching boys and girls how they should act and figuring out their interests and personalities based on their gender. Gender role stereotyping can limit their innate potential for development. If we want to cultivate children who have diverse interests, creativity, and a balanced and healthy personality, we must protect their freedom to explore. We especially need to pay attention to whether they are subjected to verbal bullying from others in society during this exploration process.
另外家長可能擔心孩子性別認同問題。性別認同，是指對自己屬於哪一種性別的內在認知，並渴望以這一種性別來生活和表達自己，這一個是屬於個人認知發展範疇問題。隨著小朋友的年齡增長，他的腦部得到發展，對社會和自己有更多學習和認知，慢慢便清晰對自己性別認知。單從玩具和顏色喜好選擇，是不可以說明小朋友有性別認同的困難，因為小朋友的玩具是沒有分性別的。不管他選擇玩車，還是玩公仔，他們都是在發揮自己的想像力，傾訴自己的故事，所以我們做家長應放鬆心情，聆聽小朋友的心情，好好享受和陪伴他們一起玩樂的時光。
Parents may also worry about their children’s gender identity. Gender identity refers to the internal recognition of which gender one belongs and the desire to live and express oneself in that gender. This is a personal cognitive development issue. As children grow older and their brains develop, they learn and recognize more about themselves and society, gradually clarifying their gender identity. The choice of toys and colors alone cannot indicate a child’s gender identity difficulties, as toys do not have gender. Whether they choose to play with cars or dolls, they are expressing their imagination and sharing their stories. Therefore, as parents, we should relax and listen to our children’s emotions, and enjoy the time spent playing with and accompanying them.
