資料來源:家庭婚姻治療師/藝術治療師高詠愛
現實中不少家長都覺得自己小朋友害羞,希望增強他們的自信心,讓他們多點信心跟別人說話。這其實要看小朋友本身的性格是怎樣,因為有時小朋友會比較慢熱,可能有些小朋友比較怕跟陌生人說話。小朋友較害羞可能跟他們的成長過程有關。
現在很多家長因為工作關係,甚少帶小朋友外出和其他小朋友一起玩和交流。這會慢慢會形成他只喜歡和年紀大過他的家人或兄姐溝通,當遇到同年紀較小的朋友時,他就不懂得怎樣一起玩。加上現時許多家長都會幫他們說話,例如他還不懂得表達自己的時候,家長有時可能比較心急:「你是不是想要那個東西?你是不是想這樣那樣。」這令小朋友很多時候他不敢說出心聲。
家長令孩子不懂得怎樣表達自己,或依賴了家長幫他們說話。其實透過很多方式,例如在家裡互動或玩遊戲,都可以幫助小朋友在不同環境跟其他小朋友或長輩溝通。例如透過簡單圖片的桌上遊戲,家長可以問小朋友:「如果我們在球場上遇到其他小朋友一起玩時,可以怎樣呢?如果你想一起玩,你可以怎樣做?」 家人也可以跟小朋友進行角色扮演。
Source: Family Marriage Therapist/Art Therapist, Ko Wing Oi
In reality, many parents feel that their children are shy and want to enhance their self-confidence so that they can have more confidence in talking to others. This actually depends on the child’s personality because sometimes children may be slower to warm up or feel more fearful about speaking to strangers. A child’s shyness may be related to their upbringing and experiences during their growth process.
In today’s busy world, many parents have limited opportunities to take their children out to play and interact with other children due to work commitments. This can gradually result in children only feeling comfortable communicating with older family members or siblings. When they encounter peers of the same age, they may not know how to play together. Additionally, many parents tend to speak on behalf of their children, especially when they are unable to express themselves. Sometimes parents may feel impatient and quickly guess what the child wants, saying things like, “Do you want this? Do you want that?” This often makes the child hesitant to express their true thoughts and feelings.
Parents unintentionally prevent their children from learning how to express themselves or become dependent on their parents to speak for them. However, there are various ways to help children communicate with other children or adults in different environments. For example, through interactive activities or games at home, parents can ask the child questions like, “If we meet other children to play at the playground, what can you do to join them?” Role-playing with family members can also be beneficial in helping children gain confidence in social interactions.
小朋友最主要從環境中學習,從他們的父母、兄弟姐妹、學校、朋友身上,甚至現在很多時會上網看新聞、電視或卡通片,學習一些行為 或說話內容。所以在家裡玩遊戲時 ,都可以做一個好榜樣告訴他們應該怎樣溝通、怎樣去說或怎樣表達自己是最好的。
有時要給小朋友時間去思考如何表達自己,而不是搶著替他們說話或幫他們完成。就算他錯了,也不要說:「不是這樣的!」因為這樣會嚇到小朋友,最好是跟他分析整件事情,應該如何做才是正確的。家長應嘗試跟小朋友分析多點:「為甚麼不可以這麼說 ?因為這樣說話可能會傷害了其他小朋友。如果你這樣跟他說話時,你自己的感覺又會是如何?」當教懂他們一些溝通方法,亦可以幫助他們見到陌生人和在不同環境時去與人溝通。
Children primarily learn from their environment, including their parents, siblings, school, friends, and even through sources like online news, television, or cartoons, where they learn behaviors and speech patterns. Therefore, when playing games at home, it’s important to set a good example and show them how to communicate, speak, and express themselves effectively.
Sometimes, it’s necessary to give children time to think about how to express themselves instead of rushing to speak for them or completing their sentences. Even if they make a mistake, it’s important not to say, “That’s not how you do it!” as it can scare the child. It’s better to analyze the situation together and discuss how it could have been done correctly. Parents should try to engage in more analysis with the child, asking questions like, “Why is it not okay to say it that way? Because speaking like that might hurt other children. How would you feel if someone spoke to you in that manner?” Teaching them different communication methods can help them interact with strangers and communicate effectively in different environments.