月份: 2024 年 1 月
撰文:Pario Arts 李素貞主任
筆者從事教育工作多年,接觸到不少家長為孩子選擇一些「速戰速決」、短期內有成果的課程或課外活動,可以說是有點功利主義。相反,他們較為輕視非功利、追求美學的課程或課外活動。一般最能吸引家長關注的是子女能否參與比賽、有沒有檢定評級或成果是否顯著的學科或才藝班。
藝術教育對小朋友有長遠影響
筆者深深認為,在功利主義的教育制度下,對孩子未來的人生態度上會存著極深遠的影響。
藝術教育是獨特和美麗,而且是富於創造性的。孩子們不僅是學習藝術的理論和技巧,在過程中還會刺激他們的創意和想像力。長遠來說,藝術教育對小朋友的言談舉止,甚至是學習和思想上都有很大的幫助。
Written by: Pario Arts, Officer Lee Sou Jing
I have been engaged in education for many years and have encountered many parents who choose “quick and decisive” courses or extracurricular activities for their children, aiming for short-term results. It can be said that this approach is somewhat utilitarian. Conversely, they tend to underestimate courses or extracurricular activities that are non-utilitarian and focus on aesthetics. What typically captures parental attention is whether their children can participate in competitions, whether there are certifications or notable achievements in academic subjects or talents.
Long-term Impact of Art Education on Children
I firmly believe that under a utilitarian education system, there will be profound and lasting effects on children’s attitudes toward life.
Art education is unique, beautiful, and rich in creativity. Children not only learn the theory and techniques of art but also stimulate their creativity and imagination in the process. In the long run, art education has significant benefits for children’s speech, behavior, and even their learning and thinking.
從生活裡接觸藝術
我們每天在日常生活中都會接觸到藝術。我們在生活中可以找到很多美麗的東西,如豐富的情感、不同的品味、獨有的感覺和視覺上的享受,凡此種種都能讓您在繁忙的生活中有著舒泰的心境,亦能感受到這個世界的繽紛和樂趣,更能發掘出恬靜美的可貴。
父母需要以身作則 重視子女的想法
事實上,不論是智能教育或是重視培養美學的藝術教育,筆者認為最重要的是家長可以給予孩子陪伴和支持。如果您想養成孩子具有藝術涵養,就應該明白藝術教育要由自己做起,尤其是要懂得聆聽、接納和理解孩子的想法,包容孩子表達創意的方式,子女在幼兒階段就會很容易地養成美學氣質。
Encountering Art in Daily Life
We come into contact with art in our daily lives every day. In our lives, we can find many beautiful things, such as rich emotions, different tastes, unique sensations, and visual pleasures. All of these can provide a serene state of mind in our busy lives, allowing us to feel the vibrancy and joy of the world and discover the precious beauty of tranquility.
Parents Need to Set a Good Example and Value Children’s Thoughts
In fact, whether it’s intelligent education or art education that emphasizes cultivating aesthetics, I believe that the most important thing is for parents to provide companionship and support. If you want to cultivate your child’s artistic appreciation, you should understand that art education starts with yourself. It is crucial to listen, accept, and understand your child’s thoughts, and embrace how they express creativity, and in doing so, your children will easily develop an aesthetic temperament from an early age.
隨著子女長大,相信不少家長都發現子女愈來愈抗拒與父母談心,孩子可能是覺得尷尬,也可能是自小家庭關係不太緊密。精神科專科黃宗顯醫生指出:「自小與子女建立良好親子關係十分重要,但若家長懷疑子女出現情緒問題,除了留意子女行為有否變化外,亦可引導子女表達自己的想法,了解他們的內心世界。」
如前文提及,家長與孩子應自小建立親子關係,每天放下工作,給予雙方親子交流的時間,一起進行有趣的親子活動。黃醫生指:「緊密的親子關係有助孩子向家長表達內心,即使隨著年紀長大,他們亦會較願意表達自己,並對家人有所信任。」
惟若孩子不願透露自己想法,家長又察覺孩子的行為變化時(可參考:https://www.parentsdaily.com.hk/expert/4073),黃醫生建議家長應耐心引導孩子表達內心,「當孩子表達自己的想法時,家長應耐心聆聽,給予孩子表達的機會。與子女建立每天親子聊天時間,讓子女有渠道在家表達自己。家長要謹記一旦子女提及相關情緒問題的症狀時,家長不應作出批判,也不要處處否定子女。」
As children grow up, many parents may find that their children become increasingly resistant to having heart-to-heart talks. The children may feel awkward, or perhaps the family relationships have not been very close since childhood. Dr. Wong Chung Hin, a specialist in psychiatry, points out, “It is crucial for parents to establish a good parent-child relationship from an early age. If parents suspect emotional issues in their children, in addition to observing changes in their behavior, they can guide their children to express their thoughts and understand their inner world.”
As mentioned earlier, parents and children should establish a parent-child relationship from a young age, setting aside time each day for parent-child communication and engaging in interesting family activities together. Dr. Wong emphasizes, “A close parent-child relationship helps children express themselves to their parents. Even as they grow older, they will be more willing to express themselves and have trust in their family.”
However, if a child is unwilling to reveal their thoughts and parents notice changes in their behavior (refer to: https://www.parentsdaily.com.hk/expert/4073), Dr. Wong advises parents to patiently guide their children to express their inner feelings. “When children express their thoughts, parents should listen patiently and provide them with the opportunity to express themselves. Establish a daily parent-child chatting time, allowing children to have a channel to express themselves at home. Parents should remember that once children mention symptoms related to emotional issues, parents should not criticize or constantly deny their children.”
黃醫生續指:「每個人都會有自己想法和立場,家長亦然。曾經有家長告訴我,他的小朋友不願上學和做功課,每天要他上學,他的情緒便會失控。但當小朋友留在家打機又會很開心,令家長覺得小朋友只是懶惰和『扮嘢』。但家長應細心了解小朋友不願上學背後的原因,不應排除小朋友任何情緒問題,以免錯過處理情緒問題的重要時刻。」但若家長引導過後,孩子仍然對自己的狀況絕口不提,家長可與學校聯絡,了解孩子在校的情況等。
黃醫生憶述其中一個中學生個案:「這位學生有天突然自己致電診所,詢問看醫生是否一定要家長陪同。後來,這位學生與朋友一同來就診,才發現原來這位學生與家人關係不好,朋友聽他分享後,便建議他尋求專業意見。在治療的過程中,我與他慢慢建立良好醫患關係,得到他的信任,並希望能重建他與家人的關係。」黃醫生慨嘆並不是每個個案都能得到家人支持,因此學校角色都非常重要,年青人一旦遇到情緒或壓力問題,若無法找家人傾訴,可以尋求信任的成人協助。
面對近日不斷的輕生悲劇,黃醫生寄語家長要明白要孩子全人發展,不單單只有學業成績,更包含精神健康等。黃醫生深明孩子的壓力大多來自學習及家人期望,「不論學生或家長,希望大家都能在壓力環境下好好裝備自己,所謂的裝備並非補習,而是好好照顧自己的精神健康,在生活中取得平衡。家長及學校亦應教導學生了解精神健康的重要,促進學生身心健康的成長。」
Dr. Wong continues, “Everyone has their own thoughts and perspectives, and parents are no exception. I once had a parent tell me that their child refused to go to school and do homework, and their emotions would spiral out of control every time they were urged to go to school. However, when the child stayed home to play video games, they seemed very happy, leading the parent to think the child was just lazy and ‘pretending.’ However, parents should carefully understand the reasons behind the child’s reluctance to go to school and not dismiss any emotional issues the child may have, to avoid missing crucial moments for addressing emotional problems.” If, after parental guidance, the child still refuses to discuss their situation, parents can contact the school to learn about the child’s situation at school.
Dr. Wong recalls a case involving a high school student: “This student suddenly called the clinic one day and asked if it was necessary for parents to accompany him. Later, the student came for a consultation with friends, revealing that he had a poor relationship with his family. After sharing with friends, they suggested seeking professional advice. During the treatment process, I slowly built a good doctor-patient relationship with him, gained his trust, and hoped to help rebuild his relationship with his family.” Dr. Wong laments that not every case receives family support, so the role of schools is crucial. When young people encounter emotional or stress-related issues and cannot confide in their families, they can seek assistance from trusted adults.
In light of the recent increase in suicide tragedies, Dr. Wong advises parents to understand that a child’s holistic development involves more than just academic achievements; it also includes mental health. Dr. Wong understands that a child’s stress often comes from academic and family expectations. “Whether students or parents, I hope everyone can equip themselves well in stressful environments. Equipping oneself does not necessarily mean extra tutoring but taking good care of one’s mental health and achieving balance in life. Parents and schools should also teach students about the importance of mental health and promote the holistic growth of students’ physical and mental well-being.”
撰文:香港言語及吞嚥治療中心 言語治療師 李詠茵
筆者曾在工作上遇到一位 5 歲的小朋友。他跟其他同齡的孩子一樣,外表乖巧,而且十分有禮貌。但他有著與其他同齡孩子不同的特徵- 他的左耳配上了一個助聽器。他,也是一個患有聽力障礙的孩子。
顧名思義,聽力障礙的定義為「因聽力受損而成的障礙,包括弱聽至完全失聰」。那聽力障礙是否只影響孩子的聽覺呢?
理解四周聲音 建立概念
試想想,幼兒在學會說出有意思的字詞前,會先有甚麼能力呢?那是說「BB話」吧。那麼幼兒在學會說「BB話」前,其中重要的一步又是甚麼呢?是學會理解四周環境的聲音,以及透過與聲音(包括父母有意思的說話、兒歌等)的互動而建立概念,明白不同語音代表著不同的人、事和物,從而逐步理解字詞,建立語言。因此,由於有聽力障礙的幼兒在「聽」方面接受的感官刺激比正常聽力的幼兒較少和弱,因此也有機會導致語言發展遲緩。
減少聆聽經驗 難以跟從指令
聽力障礙的兒童未能從「聽」的感官方面完全接收外界訊息,減少了聆聽經驗和語言接觸的機會,因而往往出現不專心的情況,難以跟從指令,以及在理解較複雜的句式時會出現困難,影響學習。由於語言學習的發生是透過留意和接收外界的輸入,再經過重覆接收類同的訊息與特定概念的連繫、模仿和運用。因此,不少聽力障礙的孩子長大後,在語法運用、句式表達和詞語認識會比其他孩子較弱,更有研究指出兩者在詞語認識上的差距,會隨著年紀而愈來愈大。
Written by: Lee Wing Yan, Speech Therapist at the Hong Kong Speech and Swallowing Therapy Centre
In my work, I once encountered a 5-year-old child. Like other children of his age, he appeared well-behaved and polite. However, he had a distinctive feature that set him apart from his peers – he had a hearing aid in his left ear. He was a child with a hearing impairment.
As the name suggests, hearing impairment is defined as a “disability caused by impaired hearing, ranging from mild to complete deafness.” Does hearing impairment only affect a child’s auditory perception?
Understanding Surrounding Sounds to Build Concepts
Consider this: before toddlers learn to articulate meaningful words, what ability do they possess? They engage in what we commonly refer to as “baby talk.” Now, what crucial step do toddlers take before mastering “baby talk”? It’s the ability to understand the sounds in their environment and establish concepts through interaction with sounds, including meaningful conversations with parents, nursery rhymes, etc. They learn to comprehend that different sounds represent different people, things, and objects, gradually understanding words and building language. Therefore, due to reduced and weaker sensory stimulation in the aspect of “hearing,” children with hearing impairment may experience delayed language development.
Reduced Listening Experience and Difficulty Following Instructions
Children with hearing impairment cannot fully receive external information through the sensory aspect of “hearing,” reducing opportunities for listening experiences and language exposure. As a result, they often exhibit inattentiveness, difficulty following instructions, and challenges in understanding more complex sentence structures, affecting their learning. Language learning occurs through paying attention and receiving external input, followed by repeated exposure to similar information, connecting specific concepts, imitation, and application. Consequently, many children with hearing impairment may exhibit weaknesses in grammar usage, sentence expression, and vocabulary recognition compared to other children. Research even suggests that the gap in vocabulary recognition between the two groups tends to widen with age.
影響語音發展 難察覺聲調間的分別
而聽力障礙對幼童語言發展的另一更明顯的影響,則是其語音發展。一般聽力障礙的兒童往往對於較高頻率(frequency)和低強度(intensity)語音的敏感度低,因此未會留意到這些語音,就如粵語包含 /f/、/s/、/ts/、/tsh/ 音的字(例如:「飛」、「三」、「吱」、「車」),並以其他語音代替,如將「飛」讀成「悲」、「三」讀成「擔」、「吱」讀成「啲」、「車」讀成「爹」等。由於此類的錯音源自孩子的聽力障礙,而因此對某些字音的敏感度低,所以孩子未必能自行察覺到自己發音上的錯誤,或自己的發音與他人的分別。
Impact on Speech Development: Difficulty Perceiving Differences in Tone
Another more noticeable effect of hearing impairment on the language development of young children is its impact on speech development. Children with hearing impairment often have lower sensitivity to higher-frequency and lower-intensity speech sounds. Consequently, they may not pay attention to these sounds, such as the Cantonese sounds /f/, /s/, /ts/, and /tsh/ found in words like “fei”(飛), “saam”(三), “zi”(吱), and “che”(車). Instead, they may substitute other sounds, such as pronouncing “fei” as “bei,” “saam” as “daam,” “zi” as “di,” and “che” as “dei.” Since these pronunciation errors stem from the child’s hearing impairment and their lower sensitivity to certain phonemes, the child may not necessarily be aware of the pronunciation mistakes they make or the differences between their pronunciation and that of others.
另一方面,粵語是一種「聲調語言」(tonal language),一般來說有九個聲調。聲調之間的差異很細微,因此正如咬字發音一樣,聽力障礙的孩子也可能因為對各聲調的敏感度較低,而未有察覺它們之間的分別,旁人聽起來,可能會覺得孩子的說話如外國人說話或唱歌一般。
及早介入 接受治療
當然,並不是每一個有聽力障礙的孩子也會面對語言發展遲緩或咬字發音的問題,筆者也曾經接觸不少語言能力十分優秀的聽障小朋友和成年人。正如其他健康問題一樣,「及早介入」才是處理問題的關鍵。因此,假若懷疑孩子有任何聽力問題,便應盡早接受耳鼻喉科醫生和聽力學家的評估,以決定是否需要配置助聽器或接受其他治療。假若孩子真的患有聽力問題,單靠配戴助聽器也未必可以完全解決或避免與聽力障礙有關的語言發展問題。因此,也應盡早接受適合的言語治療,使孩子的語言發展能及早趕上同齡孩子。
On the other hand, Cantonese is a “tonal language” with generally nine tones. The differences between tones are subtle, similar to nuances in pronunciation. Children with hearing impairment may also fail to perceive the distinctions between tones due to their lower sensitivity, much like in articulating individual sounds. To others, the child’s speech might sound akin to a foreigner speaking or singing.
Early Intervention and Therapy
Of course, not every child with hearing impairment will experience delays in language development or pronunciation issues. I have encountered many hearing-impaired children and adults with excellent language abilities. Like any health issue, “early intervention” is the key to addressing problems. Therefore, if there is suspicion of any hearing issues in a child, an early assessment by an otolaryngologist and audiologist is crucial to determine whether hearing aids or other treatments are needed. If a child indeed has hearing problems, relying solely on hearing aids may not completely resolve or prevent language development issues associated with hearing impairment. Therefore, early and appropriate speech therapy should also be sought to ensure the child’s language development catches up with their peers as soon as possible.
撰文:嬰幼兒心理發展協會 心理諮詢師 程衛強先生
「孩子故意做出挑戰你底線的行為嗎?」
「孩子的行為跟你的意願完全相反嗎?」
「孩子怎樣罰都不怕,還好像愈罰愈『曳』!」
這些都是你的寫照嗎?很多時候,父母們都會為孩子的行為而操心不已,但其實孩子行為的背後,可能有著不同的情緒,例如孩子可能因為爭寵而故意作出反叛行為,又或因為想得到父母的關注,而作出不當行為,如果這樣的話,可能會「愈罰愈不聽話」!
美國著名的情緒心理學家Plutchik指出,我們有 8種基本情緒 (Plutchik, 1993),包括接納、預期、厭惡、憤怒、悲傷、恐懼、快樂及驚訝,這些情緒會按「情緒鏈 (Emotion Chain)」表現出來,包括:(一)刺激、(二)想法、(三)情緒、(四)行為和(五)效果。
舉例說,哥哥見到媽媽在照顧年幼的妹妹(刺激),不禁想到媽媽可能只愛妹妹而不再理會自己了(想法),因此出現悲傷和憤怒等情緒(情緒),於是便故意搗蛋(行為),結果媽媽放下妹妹在嬰兒床,然後「處理」哥哥(效果)。在哥哥的眼中,媽媽總算放下了妹妹,因此,該行為達到效果。
Written by: Child Psychological Development Association,
Psychological Counselor, Mr. Ching Wai Keung
“Is your child deliberately engaging in behavior that challenges your limits?”
“Does your child’s behavior completely contradict your wishes?”
“No matter how you punish your child, it seems like they become more defiant!”
Do these scenarios sound familiar to you? Many times, parents worry incessantly about their child’s behavior. However, behind the child’s behavior, there may be different emotions. For example, a child might intentionally exhibit rebellious behavior due to a desire for attention or rivalry for affection. In such cases, punishing the child may result in them becoming even more disobedient.
Renowned American emotion psychologist Plutchik pointed out that we have eight basic emotions (Plutchik, 1993), including acceptance, anticipation, disgust, anger, sadness, fear, joy, and surprise. These emotions manifest in an “Emotion Chain,” which includes stimuli, thoughts, emotions, behavior, and outcomes.
For instance, when an older brother sees his mom taking care of his younger sister (stimulus), he may think that his mom now only loves his sister and ignores him (thoughts). This could lead to emotions like sadness and anger (emotions). As a result, he may intentionally misbehave (behavior). The outcome is that the mom puts down the sister in the crib and then deals with the older brother (outcome). In the older brother’s eyes, his mom finally put down his sister, achieving the desired outcome through his behavior.
年幼的孩子未必能透過語言表達自己的想法,所以父母要了解其背後的原因,可能有點困難。其實,我們可以透過安撫孩子的情緒,並留意有關行為發生的模式,便可以改善其行為。
舉例說,哥哥每逢看到媽媽照顧妹妹就會出現不當行為,這可以推測得到哥哥是希望得到媽媽的愛。因此,媽媽可以平衡一下與哥哥及妹妹的獨處時間,讓哥哥感受到媽媽也是愛他的,也可以邀請他一起去照顧妹妹。如果被忽略時就會有不當行為,這可能是引起父母關注的一個技倆,父母可以在不當行為未出現時就給予關注,但當不當行為出現時,就以故意忽略的技巧回應,以讓孩子明白,不當行為並不能引起關注。
只要知道孩子的行為原因,對改善不當行為有莫大的幫助。想知道更多有關資訊,可與我們聯絡。
Young children may not necessarily express their thoughts through language, making it challenging for parents to understand the reasons behind their behavior. However, by soothing the child’s emotions and paying attention to patterns in their behavior, we can improve their conduct.
For example, if an older brother consistently exhibits inappropriate behavior whenever he sees his mom taking care of his younger sister, it can be inferred that he is seeking his mother’s love. In response, the mom can balance one-on-one time with both the older brother and younger sister, allowing him to feel that his mother loves him too. She can also invite him to participate in caring for the younger sister. If inappropriate behavior arises when attention is lacking, it may be a skill to attract parental attention. In such cases, parents can offer attention before inappropriate behavior occurs and deliberately ignore the behavior when it does, helping the child understand that misbehavior does not garner attention.
Understanding the reasons behind a child’s behavior is immensely helpful in improving inappropriate conduct. If you’d like to know more, feel free to contact us.
撰文:教育專家羅煦鈞校長
我們都明白每一個學生都是獨立的個體,所以學習的速度都會不同。但如果有方法可以令孩子學得更快、更好,一定是家長以至老師都樂於見到的。如何讓小朋友學得更快更好,亦正是不少學者研究的課題。
其中一個影響孩子學習速度的關鍵,是他有多少的已有知識。已有知識即是孩子曾經學過,並且已經掌握了的知識,除了是他從前在學校學到的知識之外,在日常生活中學習得到的知識亦是其中的一部分。
學習如搭棚 逐步打好基礎
近代被受重視的心理學家維果茨基(Lev Vygotsky)認為,學習的過程就像建構「鷹架」一樣,都是由低至高、由小至大,用一根一根的金屬棒逐步搭建而成的。所謂「鷹架」,相當於中國人所建搭的棚架。當然,搭棚用的卻是竹枝。
用搭棚來形容學習,可以為我們帶來好幾個啓示。首先,打好基礎是重要的;其次,學習要一步一步來,假如一味求快而忽視了某些環節,知識亦不會牢固。再者,只要按步就班地努力學習,一定會累積得愈來愈多的知識。還有,不同人可以搭出不同形狀的竹棚,而知識亦不是一成不變的,會隨著時代發展而不斷演變。
Written by: Education Expert, Principal Kenneth Law
We all understand that each student is an independent individual, so the speed of learning varies. However, if there are methods that can make children learn faster and better, it is undoubtedly something both parents and teachers would be pleased to see. How to help children learn faster and better is also a topic of research for many scholars.
One key factor affecting the speed of a child’s learning is the amount of existing knowledge they possess. Existing knowledge refers to what the child has learned and mastered, not only the knowledge acquired in school but also part of the knowledge gained in daily life.
Learning is like building a scaffold, gradually laying a solid foundation
Lev Vygotsky, a modern psychologist highly regarded, believes that the learning process is like constructing a “scaffold,” progressing from low to high, from small to large, using one metal rod at a time. The term “scaffold” is equivalent to the bamboo scaffolding commonly used by the Chinese. Of course, in the context of learning, it’s metaphorical.
Describing learning as constructing a scaffold brings several insights. Firstly, laying a solid foundation is crucial. Secondly, learning must proceed step by step; if one rushes and neglects certain aspects, the knowledge won’t be firmly established. Furthermore, as long as one diligently learns step by step, they will surely accumulate more and more knowledge. Additionally, different individuals can construct different shapes of bamboo scaffolding, and knowledge is not static; it evolves continuously with the development of the times.
只要明白了維果茨基的學習理論,已有知識的重要性就不言而喻了。已有知識就像已經搭起來的竹棚,而新的知識就是在已經存在的竹棚上再加高和加大。已有知識愈多愈可靠,學習新事物就愈容易,不需要再顧東顧西,學習速度也就更快。
善用空餘時間 擴闊知識範圍
學生在學校學習的內容和所用時間分別不會很大,所以善用空餘時間,對提升孩子的學習表現便變得相對重要了。善用空餘時間並不等於多參加幾個訓練班或多做幾本補充,反而由於學校已經提供的全面而有系統的課程,空餘時間就更應該著重開拓更闊的知識範圍,讓「竹棚」的基礎變得更寬闊。
Once the learning theory of Vygotsky is understood, the importance of existing knowledge becomes self-evident. Existing knowledge is like a bamboo scaffold already constructed, and new knowledge is added on top of the existing scaffold, making it higher and larger. The more existing knowledge one has, the more reliable it becomes, and learning new things becomes easier. There’s no need to look around distractedly, and the learning speed becomes faster.
Make good use of spare time to broaden the scope of knowledge
The content learned and the time spent in school by students may not be extensive. Therefore, making good use of spare time becomes relatively important in enhancing a child’s academic performance. Making good use of spare time does not mean participating in more training classes or doing additional supplements. On the contrary, because schools already provide comprehensive and systematic courses, it is even more crucial to focus on expanding a broader range of knowledge during spare time, making the foundation of the “bamboo scaffold” broader.
看圖書、參觀博物館和展覽會、到自然教育徑旅行等,都能讓孩子增廣見聞,擴闊知識範圍。家長可以放手讓孩子擁有多一點主導權,選擇做他喜歡做的事。讓小朋友有選擇的空間,亦可以培養他自主學習的能力、自律和責任感,這對他的未來也是重要的。
Reading books, visiting museums and exhibitions,
and traveling along nature trails can all broaden a child’s horizons and expand
their range of knowledge. Parents can allow children to have more autonomy,
letting them choose activities they enjoy. Providing children with the space to
make choices can also cultivate their ability for self-directed learning,
self-discipline, and a sense of responsibility, which are essential for their
future.
不論是在職家長或全職家庭主婦,每天都忙於工作、做家務和照顧子女等等。孩子每天放學後亦忙於做功課、補習和溫習默書考試,玩樂時間也不多,便要上床睡覺了。精神科專科黃宗顯醫生指出:「香港的家長和學生都很忙碌,但我們要學習在情緒或壓力爆發前『預先處理』,好好建立親子關係,家長每天設有親子時間好好與子女溝通,家長亦應照顧自己情緒,更有助子女表達內心。」
在忙碌的日常生活中,家長要先好好照顧自己,才能更好地照顧子女。黃醫生提出:「比起出現情緒問題才處理,『預先處理』更為重要。家長可與子女一起建立健康生活習慣,要有充足的休息時間。不少學生放學後仍要補習,又要溫習做功課,但適量的娛樂也是非常重要。如上述所言,每天親子溝通時間亦是必須的,一起做一些有趣的事情,例如一起做運動,不但可以建立優質親子時間,更能改善情緒。」
黃醫生表示:「家長應檢討自己的管教期望,按著子女的能力調適管教方法,以免讓孩子感到壓力。家長要明白每個孩子都會長大,想獨立自主,有自己的想法。家長可以了解孩子行為的背後原因,例如孩子不想上學或成績每況愈下,家長應了解背後會否是學習壓力過大,或孩子在學校面對了甚麼問題,與校方多溝通,嘗試為孩子的學習作出調整。」
Whether parents are working or full-time homemakers, they are busy every day with work, household chores, and taking care of their children. After school, children are also busy with homework, tutoring, and reviewing for exams. Leisure time is limited, and bedtime comes early. Dr. Wong Chung Hin, a specialist in psychiatry, points out, “Parents and students in Hong Kong are very busy, but we need to learn to ‘preprocess’ emotions or stress before they erupt, and establish a good parent-child relationship. Parents should set aside dedicated parent-child time every day to communicate with their children. Parents should also take care of their own emotions, which will help their children express their inner feelings.”
In the midst of busy daily life, parents need to take good care of themselves first in order to better care for their children. Dr. Wong suggests, “Rather than dealing with emotional problems after they arise, ‘preprocessing’ is more important. Parents can establish healthy habits with their children, ensuring they have sufficient rest. Many students have tutoring and homework to do after school, but a moderate amount of entertainment is also crucial. As mentioned earlier, daily parent-child communication time is necessary. Doing fun activities together, such as exercising, not only builds quality parent-child time but also improves emotions.”
Dr. Wong emphasizes, “Parents should review their disciplinary expectations, adjust disciplinary methods according to their children’s abilities to avoid putting too much pressure on them. Parents need to understand that every child will grow up, want to be independent, and have their own thoughts. Parents can understand the reasons behind their children’s behavior, such as not wanting to go to school or declining academic performance. Parents should investigate whether the underlying cause is excessive learning pressure and communicate with the school to make adjustments to their child’s learning.”
事實上,子女的情緒亦會受到家長自身情緒所影響。黃醫生解釋:「孩子出現情緒問題,部分可能是家族史影響。但從不少個案可見,出現情緒問題的孩子,其家長的情緒亦較差。家長要時刻留意自己的狀態,以免不適當地表達情緒,例如當家長不滿孩子的行為時,可能會情緒爆發破口大罵,這不但會影響親子關係,令孩子無所適從,往後害怕與父母溝通,更會影響家長自己的想法,負面定性孩子的行為是『唔聽話』、『扮嘢』及懶惰等。」
家長最常面對子女「叫極唔聽」,都會忍不住發怒。但黃醫生提醒:「在這些時候,家長不宜正面面對孩子,可找一個空間先冷靜自己,例如做一些慢呼吸練習,舒緩情緒。當家長冷靜過後,再面對孩子,了解孩子行為的背後原因。若家長無法控制情緒,反而會令事情更複雜,便很難再有機會與子女溝通。」
In fact, children’s emotions can be influenced by the emotions of their parents. Dr. Wong explains, “When children have emotional issues, it may be partly influenced by family history. However, in many cases, children with emotional problems have parents with poorer emotional well-being. Parents should always be aware of their own emotional states to avoid expressing emotions inappropriately. For example, when parents are dissatisfied with their children’s behavior, they may burst out in anger, which not only affects the parent-child relationship, making the child at a loss and afraid to communicate with their parents, but also influences the parents’ own perceptions, negatively characterizing the child’s behavior as ‘disobedient,’ ‘pretending,’ and lazy.”
Parents most commonly face the situation of children “not listening at all” and may find it hard to refrain from getting angry. However, Dr. Wong reminds, “During these times, parents should not confront their children directly. Instead, they can find a space to calm themselves, for example, by doing some slow breathing exercises to soothe their emotions. Once the parent has calmed down, they can then address the child and understand the underlying reasons for the child’s behavior. If parents cannot control their emotions, it will only complicate things and make it difficult to have a chance to communicate with their children.”
黃醫生建議:「每人性格都不同,處理壓力的方法亦不同。家長可與子女共同建立處理壓力的方法,不論是做運動、畫畫或聽音樂,好好休息,放鬆一下。但當家長發現子女情緒問題已持續一段長時間,或已影響日常生活,甚至出現傷害自己或萌生輕生念頭,家長應盡快帶子女尋求專業人士協助。」
黃醫生最後寄語家長:「現時很多家長都要上班工作,家長可以考慮每天放下工作片刻,將時間留給孩子,好好建立親子關係,享受親子時間。家長從而亦能留意孩子心理及情緒的轉變,遇上問題亦能及早察覺,以免誘發抑鬱症或焦慮症等情緒問題。」
Dr. Wong suggests, “Everyone has a different personality, and the methods for handling stress also vary. Parents can work together with their children to establish stress management methods, whether it’s through exercise, drawing, listening to music, taking a good rest, or simply relaxing. However, when parents notice that their child’s emotional issues have persisted for a prolonged period, or have started to affect daily life, and especially if there are signs of self-harm or suicidal thoughts, parents should seek professional assistance for their children as soon as possible.”
Dr. Wong concludes with a message to parents: “Many parents are currently juggling work commitments, but it’s important for parents to consider setting aside a moment each day, putting work aside, and dedicating time to their children to build a strong parent-child relationship and enjoy quality time together. This way, parents can also pay attention to any changes in their children’s mental and emotional well-being, detect problems early, and prevent the development of emotional issues such as depression or anxiety.”
撰文:張傑醫生
每年年末也是快樂和痛苦的混合季節,痛苦可能是孩子要考試、在職父母忙著公司的年結。快樂的是有較長的假期,可以有時間去旅行休息。不過,不少父母其實心驚膽跳,原因是他們安排了與孩子出門,但是孩子如果這個時候才生病,該怎麼辦呢?
如果遇到的是意外或大病,旅行必然會取消的。最大問題的卻是孩子患上小病,但怕影響行程。首先,筆者建議要先「預防」。有些朋友會問,生病怎樣可預防呢?答案是可以的,只要嚴守出發前兩星期的時間。首先,筆者建議在出發前最少兩星期替孩子注射流感疫苗,因為疫苗需要半個月才可生效。在眾多發燒相關的疾病當中,只有流感是有疫苗可以注射的。
Written by : Doctor Cheung Kit
The year-end is a season of mixed emotions, with both joy and pain. The pain may come from children having exams or working parents being busy with the year-end matters for their companies. The joy lies in having a longer holiday, providing an opportunity for travel and relaxation. However, many parents are actually anxious because they have planned a trip with their children, and the concern arises: What if the child falls ill during this time?
If it’s an accident or a serious illness, the trip will inevitably be canceled. The bigger issue is when the child gets a minor illness, and there’s a fear it might affect the travel plans. First and foremost, the author suggests “prevention.” Some may wonder, how can illness be prevented? The answer is yes, as long as strict measures are taken in the two weeks before departure. Firstly, the author recommends getting the flu vaccine for the child at least two weeks before departure, as the vaccine takes half a month to take effect. Among many fever-related illnesses, only the flu has a vaccine that can be administered.
接著,在最常見的兒童簡單傳染病症中,例如病毒性腹瀉、上呼吸道感染、水痘和急性胃炎等,潛伏期一般在一星期內。所以,父母必須盡量避免孩子接觸這一類疾病的源頭,包括室內的遊樂中心、泳池、醫院和遊樂場等等。雖然手段較嚴苛,但是如果以旅行為目標,也要作出少許犧牲。再者,若是真的不幸在兩星期前染病,理論上也有足夠的時間可以復原。
如果不幸在出發前生病,第一當然是看醫生。當證實只是小毛病時,請留意以下5個重點:
1. 請醫生開足夠的藥物,直至旅程完畢
2. 如果藥物(例如液體的抗生素)是需要儲存在雪櫃中,就要考慮轉換酒店之間保存的問題
3. 請醫生準備病程和診斷結果的信或記錄在健康手冊中,以便當地醫護人員跟從
4. 如要擕帶液體的藥物上機,請先向航空公司查詢。在有需要時,醫生要預先用文字形式通知航空公司
5. 向售賣旅遊保險公司查詢有關當地看緊急醫療的安排
有時小朋友生病的確避無可避,不過總有東西可以配合的。
Next, among the most common simple infectious diseases in children, such as viral gastroenteritis, upper respiratory tract infections, chickenpox, and acute gastritis, the incubation period is generally within a week. Therefore, parents must try to avoid exposing their children to the sources of such diseases, including indoor play centers, swimming pools, hospitals, and playgrounds, among others. Although the measures may be stringent, if travel is the goal, some sacrifices may need to be made. Moreover, if unfortunately, the child falls ill within the two weeks before departure, theoretically, there should be enough time for recovery.
If the child falls ill just before the trip, the first thing to do is, of course, to see a doctor. When it is confirmed to be a minor ailment, pay attention to the following five points:
1. Ask the doctor to prescribe enough medication until the end of the journey.
2. If the
medication (such as liquid antibiotics) needs to be stored in the refrigerator,
consider the storage between hotels.
3. Ask the
doctor to prepare a letter or record of the course and diagnosis results in the
health handbook for local medical personnel to follow.
4. If you need
to bring liquid medication on the plane, inquire with the airline first. When
necessary, the doctor should notify the airline in writing in advance.
5. Inquire with the travel insurance company about local arrangements for emergency medical care.
Sometimes, children falling ill cannot be completely
avoided, but there are always things that can be coordinated.
近日學生輕生新聞不斷,情況令人擔憂。作為父母,我們總會覺得大人要面對工作、家庭和生活開支,壓力比孩子大得多。但精神科專科黃宗顯醫生提醒:「臨床上可見,因壓力導致情緒困擾的個案有小學、中學及大學學生,家長應細心留意孩子的行為表現有否不同,耐心聆聽孩子的想法,不要太快作出批判。最重要相信孩子,讓孩子敢於表達自己。」
孩子面對壓力導致情緒出現問題的原因除了學習成績,更包括家人期望、朋輩相處、校園欺凌、家庭問題及家族史等。黃醫生憶述:「當面對親人離世,家人總會忙著處理身後事或各種儀式,忘了要照顧孩子的情緒。另外,亦有些孩子面對父母離異,或甚遭受虐待等,都會影響情緒。」
情緒變化各異 家長要留意
黃醫生續指:「部分孩子較懂得表達自己感受,但不少孩子都不會表達情緒,而隨著孩子年齡漸長,有些也不太願意與家人分享感受。所以家長及老師應要多加留意孩子的情緒、行為及表現有沒有變化。」
家長可留意以下表現:
1. 情緒流露在表情上,例如表現悶悶不樂、緊張、哭泣及難過等
2. 生活習慣變化,例如作息時間(失眠或睡不停)、胃口變化或經常困在房間等
3. 不願上學
4. 身體上的變化,例如肚瀉、肚痛,家長很容易會以為是健康出現問題,經深入了解後才知悉與情緒壓力有關
5. 出現自傷行為,包括打自己、𠝹手,或甚曾提及「唔想做人」等想法
In recent days, there have been continuous reports of students attempting suicide, a situation that is cause for concern. As parents, we often feel that adults face much greater pressure dealing with work, family, and financial issues than children do. However, Dr. Wong Chung Hin, a specialist in psychiatry, reminds us: “Clinically, cases of emotional distress due to stress are observed in primary, secondary, and university students. Parents should carefully observe any changes in their children’s behavior, patiently listen to their thoughts, and refrain from making hasty criticisms. The most important thing is to believe in your children and encourage them to express themselves.”
The reasons for emotional issues arising from stress in children go beyond academic performance and include family expectations, peer relationships, school bullying, family problems, and family history. Dr. Wong recalls, “When facing the death of a family member, relatives are often busy dealing with post-mortem matters or various rituals, forgetting to take care of the child’s emotions. In addition, some children experience their parents’ divorce or even abuse, which can also affect their emotions.”
Emotional changes vary, and parents need to be attentive
Dr. Wong further emphasizes, “Some children are more adept at expressing their feelings, but many do not know how to express their emotions. As children grow older, some are less willing to share their feelings with family. Therefore, parents and teachers should pay close attention to any changes in their children’s emotions, behavior, and performance.”
Parents should pay attention to the following signs:
1. Emotional expressions on the face, such as appearing gloomy, tense, crying, or sad.
2. Changes in lifestyle habits, such as disruptions in sleep patterns (insomnia or excessive sleep), changes in appetite, or spending a lot of time isolated in their room.
3. Unwillingness to go to school.
4. Physical changes, such as diarrhea, and stomachaches. Parents might easily attribute these to health issues, but a deeper understanding reveals their connection to emotional stress.
5. Self-harming behaviors, including self-hitting, cutting, or expressing thoughts like “I don’t want to live.”
每個孩子表達情緒的方法都不同,如果孩子出現上述情況只是短暫,壓力過去後便回復正常,這稱為「適應障礙症(Adjustment Disorder)」。但當情況持續,即使壓力過去後仍然出現,便應尋求專業人士協助。
孩子表達情緒問題 家長要先信任 勿輕易作批判
黃醫生表示這些情緒問題情況很多時會難以發現:「部分患者如上面所指,他不懂得表達自己的情況。但亦有部分是表達了,惟其家長或老師不認為有問題,不相信他,反而認為他不願上學是懶惰的表現。家長或照顧者聆聽孩子的問題後,要相信孩子,更不應輕易作批判。因為這亦關乎對情緒問題的意識,他們可能對情緒問題認知不足,不知道要如何處理。又或他們會擔心求助後,會遭受旁人負面標籤,而不敢求醫。」
Each child expresses emotions differently. If the child exhibits the above-mentioned signs only temporarily, returning to normal after the stress has passed, it is referred to as “Adjustment Disorder.” However, if the situation persists and continues even after the stress has subsided, seeking assistance from a professional is advisable.
When children have emotional expression issues, parents should start by trusting and not hastily criticizing
Dr. Wong points out that these emotional problems are often challenging to detect: “Some patients, as mentioned above, may not know how to express their feelings. However, there are also cases where they do express themselves, but their parents or teachers do not see it as a problem. They don’t believe the child and instead think that their reluctance to go to school is a sign of laziness. After listening to the child’s concerns, parents or caregivers should believe the child and avoid making hasty criticisms. This is also about raising awareness of emotional issues; they may have insufficient awareness and not know how to handle them. Alternatively, they may worry that seeking help will result in negative labels from others and be hesitant to seek medical attention.”
黃醫生提醒:「延遲治療可能會令病情更嚴重,甚至出現無法挽回的情況。有些家長擔心孩子去看醫生便要吃藥,又擔心藥物副作用等。但事實上藥物治療並非唯一的治療,需要先作評估,並可配合心理治療。另有不少個案會認為自己沒有事,又或過一段時間會自己痊癒,導致病情出現拖延。」
一旦孩子的情緒變化已持續發生一段時間、已影響日常生活,甚至出現傷害自己或萌生輕生念頭時,必須盡快求助。黃醫生最後亦提醒家長,若孩子閱讀近日有關輕生的新聞時,家長應陪伴在側,向他解釋這不是一個解決情緒問題的方法,以免孩子被新聞牽動情緒。
Dr. Wong warns, “Delaying treatment may worsen the condition, possibly leading to irreparable situations. Some parents worry that taking their child to see a doctor means resorting to medication and fear potential side effects. However, the truth is that medication is not the only form of treatment. It needs to be assessed first and can be complemented with psychological therapy. Many cases involve individuals who believe they are fine or expect to heal on their own after a while, leading to prolonged conditions.”
Once a child’s emotional changes have been occurring for a significant period, impacting daily life, or if thoughts of self-harm or suicide emerge, seeking help promptly is imperative. Dr. Wong also reminds parents that if a child reads news about suicide recently, parents should be by their side, explaining that this is not a solution to emotional problems, to prevent the news from affecting the child emotionally.
資料來源:資深親職教育專家 Bally
其實升小一真的要比較緊張和多花一點時間準備。問我的話我會建議PN開始就應該要「先分析,後部署」。但如何先分析呢?
其實很多家長都不太清楚香港有幾多種類型的學校,例如原來我們有傳統的政府派位學校、直資學校、私立學校和國際學校,究竟這幾種學校的分別是甚麼?他們的教學理念是甚麼?其實家長的經濟環境或他們期望的理想是入讀哪一類學校?
他們要先了解和分析,就會有一個目標。有了一個目標後,我們會進入下一步,真真正正地親自聽每一間學校的理念。為甚麼我們覺得PN開始就要準備呢?因為原來學校很多時候每年只會進行一次簡介會。這些簡介會很多時候會在同一時間舉行,如果我們在K.2那年才去聽,但我們心儀有三間學校,都撞正在同一個星期六同一個時段舉行,家長就已經聽不到。
Source: Senior Parenting Education Expert Bally
In fact, preparing for the transition to first grade can be more stressful and time-consuming. If you were to ask me, I would recommend that parents should start from Pre-Nursery to “analyze first and then plan.” But how to analyze first?
Many parents are not entirely clear about the various types of schools in Hong Kong. For instance, we have traditional government-subsidized schools, Direct Subsidy Scheme (DSS) schools, private schools, and international schools. What are the differences between these types of schools? What are their educational philosophies? What is the ideal type of school for parents based on their financial situation and aspirations?
They should first understand and analyze this, which will give them a goal. Once they have a goal, we can move on to the next step, which is to personally attend the orientation sessions of each school. Why do we believe that parents should start preparing from Pre-Nursery (PN)? Because many schools often hold orientation sessions only once a year. These orientation sessions often occur at the same time. If we wait until the year of K.2 to attend these sessions, and we are interested in three different schools, and all of them schedule their sessions on the same Saturday at the same time, parents may miss out.
第二就是原來這些簡介會,會有很多人報名,但只有數百至一千個名額。而他們只是進行一天,那一天內原來有五千多人報名。當有五千多人報名時,可能你會抽不到,就沒有機會去聽,所以我們要準備前一至三年的時間,考慮學校的理念是否合適自己的小朋友。
如果我們已經在頭一兩年都聽得七七八八,聽過了自己心儀學校的簡介會。到了最後一年,我們就要找回自己最理想的一至三間再聽多次,因為近年香港的教學改變得很快,而且也很多。如果我們再聽多次,便有助肯定自己心儀的學校。
很多時候第一次去聽的可能是媽媽,第二次去聽的是爸爸,我們的家庭一定要一致,所以大家去聽理念是很重要的。如果大家都有機會理解到,就要進入第三個部署,家裡人坐下來商量究竟我們想小朋友未來擁有教育的方向是怎樣?我們究竟想要很傳統的教學方法?還是想要很開心?現在有些學校叫Happy School,亦有很多家長以為Happy School,就等於可能未必有成效。
其實現在有兩大類的Happy School,有些Happy School只有開心,但到時候是追不到小一進度,有些Happy School開心之餘有成效,到時他有足夠的能力可以挑選自己心儀的學校。因為他入讀到心儀的學校還能追得上,所以家長要了解甚麼叫Happy School,他們的教學理念和成效如何。
Secondly, it’s important to note that these orientation sessions have limited spots. While many people may sign up, there are often only a few hundred to a thousand slots available. During the course of a single day, there may be over 5,000 registrations. With such high demand, it’s possible not to secure a spot, which means you won’t have the opportunity to attend. This is why we need to prepare one to three years in advance, considering whether the school’s philosophy is suitable for your child.
If you have been attending orientation sessions for your preferred schools for the first one or two years, by the final year, you should revisit your top one to three choices multiple times. This is because educational changes in Hong Kong happen rapidly and frequently. By attending multiple sessions, you can confirm your preferred school.
In many cases, the first time someone attends may be the mother, and the second time, it may be the father. It’s essential for the family to be in agreement, so attending orientation sessions together to understand the school’s philosophy is crucial. Once everyone has a shared understanding, you can move on to the third step, where the family sits down to discuss the direction of your child’s education. What kind of education do you envision for your child’s future? Do you want a very traditional teaching method, or do you want a happy one? Some schools are called “Happy School,” but many parents mistakenly think that a “Happy School” may not be effective.
In fact, there are two major categories of “Happy School” now. Some “Happy Schools” focus solely on happiness, but their curriculum may not align with the first-grade curriculum. Others combine happiness with effectiveness, and students from these schools have the ability to select their preferred schools because they can keep up with the first-grade curriculum. Therefore, parents need to understand what a “Happy School” is, what their teaching philosophy is, and how effective they are.
當父母達成共識時,我們就要開始真真正正地,挑選一間最適合小朋友的學校。有很多時候父母會選擇最好的學校給小朋友,因為那間是最好的,但其實最好未必是最適合。我們身為父母其實要找一間最適合小朋友的學校,舉一個例子如果小朋友很好動,家長很多時候會覺得我是否要找一間比較傳統的,綁緊他,希望他坐定一點。如果他像「甩繩馬騮」是不行的。又或有些小朋友的英文不太好,我是否應該找一間英文小學給他讀呢?或是否應該找國際學校給他讀呢?
其實大家可以想想如果當那間學校由小一開始,他的學習能力根本未到達學校的主要要求,小朋友根本就不會想上學。如果一個小朋友不擅長英文,擅長中文,而他選了一間英文小學,小朋友根本聽不懂老師說甚麼,他對英文完全沒有興趣。即是我們叫那個小朋友根本不需要來上課,因為他不會學習到老師說的東西,英文一科可以拖垮整個學業及他整個學習興趣。
家長會問如何為之正確?我們用一個大塘小魚或小塘大魚來分析,如果我們讓一個小朋友讀一間學校,他在學習能力和成績方面都是在這間學校的中上等級。小朋友在整個學習過程中自信心會提升,他不會被比下去。但如果讀一間我們認為很好的學校或是名校,但小朋友的能力根本讀不了,可能會墊底,就會變成大塘的小魚。小朋友在學習過程中,往往都會很不開心,可能被人看輕。
Once parents reach a consensus, it’s time to truly and thoroughly select the school that is most suitable for the child. Many times, parents may choose the best school for their child because it’s considered the best. However, what is considered the best may not necessarily be the most suitable. As parents, our goal should be to find a school that is the best fit for our child. For example, if a child is very active, parents may wonder whether they should choose a more traditional school that enforces discipline and expects students to sit still. But what if the child is like a “wild horse” and sitting still is not their nature? Or if a child struggles with English, should they attend an English primary school, or should they go to an international school?
In reality, consider this: if a child’s learning abilities are far from meeting the school’s primary requirements, they may not even want to go to school. If a child is weak in English and strong in Chinese but chooses an English primary school, they might not understand what the teacher is saying, and they would have no interest in English at all. In this case, you could argue that the child doesn’t need to attend school because they won’t grasp what the teacher is teaching, and their poor performance in English could negatively impact their overall academic progress and their interest in learning.
Parents often ask how to make the right choice. To analyze this, let’s use the analogy of a small fish in a big pond versus a big fish in a small pond. If a child attends a school where their learning abilities and performance are in the middle to upper range within that school, their confidence will increase, and they won’t feel inferior to their peers. However, if they attend a school considered “good” or prestigious but their abilities are not up to par, they may struggle and feel like a small fish in a big pond. In this scenario, the child is likely to be unhappy throughout their learning journey and may feel underestimated.
所以我會建議家長首先如何選一間合適的學校,你要先理解學校的理念,看看學校小一後的程度,你的小朋友在這方面是否合適。在英文、中文、數學方面,是否有足夠能力掌握。如果你覺得都可以的,小朋友現在就正在做這樣事情,他完全應付得到這間就是合適你的學校。
So, I would recommend that parents, first and foremost, understand how to choose a suitable school. You need to comprehend the school’s educational philosophy and evaluate the academic standards for students after they enter first grade to determine if your child is a good fit in terms of English, Chinese, and mathematics. If you believe that your child can handle these aspects well and is already coping with them, then this school is likely the right fit for your child.