分類: 家長園地

幼稚園上／下午班，應該怎樣選擇？
How should I choose between morning and afternoon kindergarten classes?

資料來源：註冊教育心理學家彭智華

 

家長即使未到十居其九，也有十居其七八也想孩子讀上午班。孩子和家長一起起床，一起出門上班上學，也可以午睡，學習比較好。基本上，大家對讀上午班的期待會高一點，但是會遇到甚麼問題呢？

 

但是幼兒，特別是K1或N1的小朋友的睡眠時間可能多一些。因此，早上起床時可能產生不少情緒問題。在這情況下，家長即使不情願，也應讓孩子讀下午班。不是因為你申請不到上午班的學位，而是刻意申請讀下午班，原因是甚麼呢？

 

原來夫婦二人很晚下班，可能7時後才回家，然後跟小朋友玩到12時。親子時間是很寶貴的，你覺得學習時間重要，還是親子時間重要？第二天早上可以睡到11時，其實跟午睡沒有分別。因為由晚上12時睡到早上10時，足足10個小時。換句話說，就算沒有午睡，也可以有足夠的睡眠質素，還有充足的親子時間。

Source : Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

 

Even if approximately seven to eight out of ten parents prefer morning classes for their children, some may still opt for afternoon classes. When children wake up and leave for school together with their parents, they can take naps, which may lead to better learning. Generally, there are higher expectations for children attending morning classes, but what issues might they encounter?

 

However, young children, especially those in K1 or N1, may have longer sleep times. Therefore, they may experience emotional issues when getting up in the morning. In such cases, parents should choose afternoon classes for their children, even if they are reluctant. It’s not because you couldn’t secure a spot in the morning class but rather a deliberate choice.

 

The reason for this choice might be that both parents finish work very late, possibly returning home after 7 p.m., and then spend time with their child until midnight. Quality family time is precious. Do you value study time more or family time more? Sleeping until 11 a.m. the next day is not much different from taking an afternoon nap, as it amounts to a full 10 hours of sleep from midnight to 10 a.m. In other words, even without an afternoon nap, there is enough sleep quality and sufficient family time.

如果申請入讀上午班，而孩子又不願起床，將來就要循序漸進地適應。可能由10時起床，慢慢到9時半、9時、8時半，還有叫他起床時是有數個技巧的。曾經有一個個案，叫他起床時不是叫醒他的腦袋，而是叫醒身體，包括按摩腳部、叫醒腳部、叫醒肚子、叫醒背部，然後叫醒手腳。再加上充足的光線，拉開窗簾，再開電視機，然後加上早餐的氣味，最後才叫醒他。如果有喜愛食物的氣味，香噴噴的話會更容易令孩子起床。

If you’ve applied for morning classes and your child is unwilling to wake up early, they will need to gradually adapt. This adaptation can begin with waking up at 10 a.m. and gradually moving to 9:30 a.m., 9 a.m., and 8:30 a.m. There are also several techniques for waking them up. For instance, there was a case where instead of waking up their head, they woke up the body. This involved massaging the feet, waking up the feet, waking up the abdomen, waking up the back, and then waking up the hands and feet. In addition, providing ample light by pulling back the curtains, turning on the TV, and introducing the smell of breakfast can help. If there’s a favorite food aroma, it’s even easier to get the child out of bed when it smells delicious.

家長要有兩手準備，一方面不要必然覺得上午班才是好，另一方面如果因為某些原因要讀上午班，起床的時間加多些循序漸進的步驟，以及多感官的刺激，令他最後才是以意志醒來。因為最擔心他的意志醒來，但身體未同步，就會非常辛苦了。

Parents should be prepared on both fronts. On one hand, they shouldn’t automatically assume that morning classes are the only good option. On the other hand, if for certain reasons, they choose morning classes, they should add more gradual steps to the waking-up process and provide multi-sensory stimulation to help the child wake up through their willpower. This is because the concern is that if their willpower wakes up but their body isn’t synchronized, it can be very challenging.

為人父母壓力大 焦慮要及時處理
Being a parent can be stressful; it’s important to manage anxiety promptly

資料來源：精神科專科醫生黃俊賢

 

作為父母，既要面對工作，亦要照顧家庭。在巨大的壓力下，很容易出現焦慮。焦慮是與生俱來的正常反應，當我們生命受到威脅時，適當的焦慮可以保障我們人身安全。不過如果過度擔心，身體可能會出現一些不適的反應，例如心跳加速、胃痛、肌肉繃緊、呼吸急速、頭痛、手震、出汗或經常上廁所等。如果沒有及時處理，可以引致更嚴重的情緒問題，亦會影響家庭關係。

 

以下有三種方法可以減少焦慮症狀，首先是呼吸放鬆練習，使用腹式呼吸。用鼻慢慢地吸氣，持續4秒，腹部要漲起，維持2秒，再用嘴慢慢地呼氣，持續4秒，然後暫停2秒後，重複整個過程5至10次。

Source: Psychiatrist Dr. Wong Chun Yin

 

As parents, we have to juggle work and family responsibilities. Under significant stress, it’s easy to experience anxiety. Anxiety is a natural, built-in response, and it can protect us when our lives are threatened. However, excessive worry can lead to physical discomforts like a racing heart, stomachaches, muscle tension, rapid breathing, headaches, trembling hands, sweating, or frequent urination. If not addressed in a timely manner, it can lead to more serious emotional issues and can also affect family relationships.

 

Here are three ways to reduce anxiety symptoms. First is practicing relaxation through deep breathing, using diaphragmatic breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4, letting your abdomen rise for 2 seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 4. Pause for 2 seconds and repeat this process 5 to 10 times.

第二是肌肉放鬆練習，在一個舒服的地方坐下或躺下，輕輕地閉起雙眼，全身肌肉放鬆，先把注意力轉移到雙腳，收緊腳部肌肉10秒，然後放鬆。然後按順序逐一收緊，放鬆身驅、雙手、頸部和面部肌肉。

 

最後是影像放鬆練習。在一個安靜的地方閉起雙眼，然後想像一個舒適的場，想像看到、聽到、聞到、觸摸到的感覺，探索5至10分鐘。然後再逐漸回到現實世界。

 

另外，平時亦應該培養正面的思考模式。任何時候都嘗試看看好的一面，而非整天想著不開心的事情，可以令患上情緒病的機會減少。

The second method is muscle relaxation exercises. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down, gently close your eyes, and relax all your muscles. Start by shifting your focus to your feet, tense the muscles in your feet for 10 seconds, and then release. Proceed sequentially, tensing and relaxing the muscles in your legs, arms, neck, and facial muscles.

 

Lastly, there is imagery relaxation practice. In a quiet place, close your eyes and imagine a comfortable setting, visualizing what you see, hear, smell, and feel for 5 to 10 minutes. Gradually return to the present reality.

 

Additionally, it’s important to cultivate a positive thinking pattern in your daily life. Try to see the bright side of things at all times rather than dwelling on unhappy thoughts constantly, which can reduce the chances of developing mood disorders.

日常生活用眼多 大人小朋友同做眼睛操
Everyday life is full of eye use.
Adults and children do eye exercises together .

資料來源：趙仕祥中醫師

 

現在的小朋友很多時候都會看電腦、電話或讀書也十分用神，這樣會很傷害眼睛，有一些穴位按摩能幫助小朋友舒緩眼睛。

 

第一個介紹的穴位是攢竹穴，在兩條眼眉的最前端，向下大約半吋的位置，大約是眼眶最角的位置。另一個穴位就叫睛明穴，在兩隻眼睛中間鼻樑位置的旁邊，就是兩隻眼的前端。第三個穴位是四白穴，在眼下面大約1吋左右，大約是兩隻手指位隔著的地方。它就在顴骨位前邊，我們摸的時候，在眼下的地方會有少許凹陷，這個就是四白穴。最後一個穴位是絲竹空穴位，在眼眉最端的位置。這四個穴位都可以幫助得到疏風清熱和明目。

 

我們知道穴位位置後，要怎樣按摩眼部呢？

 

首先第一個穴位，我們就會用攢竹穴。我們就會用四隻手指按住眼眉，然後用姆指按住攢竹穴。攢竹穴就在眼眉最前端的位置，然後在眼眶角的凹陷處。我們按住他，兩隻手指，互相正反方向轉64下。

 

第二個穴位就是睛明穴，在眼頭前面這個位置和鼻樑之間。我們將兩隻手指輕輕捏著鼻樑，然後我們可以向下向上地慢慢按摩，同樣做64下。

Source : Chinese Medicine Practitioner, Chiu Shi Cheung

 

Many children today spend a lot of time looking at computers, phones, or reading, which can strain their eyes. There are some acupoint massages that can help children relieve eye strain.

 

The first acupoint we’ll introduce is the “Zan Chuk” point. It’s located at the very front end of the eyebrows, about half an inch downward, at the corner of the eye socket. Another acupoint is called the “Jing Ming” point. It’s located at the side of the nasal bridge, right in the middle between the two eyes, near the inner edge of each eye. The third point is the “Si Pak” point, which is about 1 inch below the eyes, roughly the width of two fingers apart. It’s in front of the cheekbone, and when you touch it, there should be a slight depression just below the eyes; this is the “Si Pak” point. The last acupoint is the “Shi Chuk Hung” point, located at the very end of the eyebrow. All four of these points can help with dispersing wind, clearing heat, and improving vision.

 

Once we know the locations of these acupoints, how do we massage the eye area?

 

First, let’s start with the first point, the “Zan Chuk” point. You’ll use your four fingers to hold down the eyebrows, and then use your thumb to press on the “Zan Chuk” point. The “Zan Chuk” point is right at the very front end of the eyebrows, in the depression at the corner of the eye socket. Hold it with your four fingers and your thumb, and gently rotate 64 times in opposite directions.

 

The second acupoint is called “Jing Ming” Point, located in the area in front of the inner corner of the eye, between the eyebrow and the bridge of the nose. We use two fingers to gently pinch the bridge of the nose and then slowly massage it up and down, repeating this motion 64 times.

第三個穴位是四白穴，在我們臉上顴骨內邊的這個平面，其實實際觸摸內裡面其實是一個凹陷位。我們用兩隻手指隔著鼻樑，便可以摸到這個穴位，輕輕按裡面，你會感覺到酸軟。按著之後，亦都可以轉64下。


第四個穴位便是絲竹空穴，我們可用兩隻姆指先按住兩邊的太陽穴，然後我們由攢竹穴開始，從上邊掃至絲竹空穴，然後再跟著在攢竹穴下邊、眼的下邊，掃至絲竹空穴，這樣為之1次，同樣做64下。


這樣按摩了這四個穴位後，可以消除眼睛疲勞外，還可以幫助眼睛的血氣循環，可以預防近視等眼疾。當我們做眼睛操時，記得是全程閉起雙眼，然後做完眼睛操後，還要閉起雙眼休息2至5分鐘。每一個穴位我們是大約按64下，為何要按64下？因為在中醫角度八八六十四，我們稱為是八八之首。

The third acupoint is called “Si Pak” Point. It is located on the inner edge of the cheekbone on our face. In fact, when you touch it, you’ll feel a slight depression. Using two fingers, place them on either side of the bridge of the nose, and you will be able to locate this point. Gently press inside, and you will feel a slight soreness. After locating it, you can also rotate the pressure 64 times.

 

The fourth acupoint is Shi Chuk Hung Point. To locate it, use your thumbs to first press on both sides of the temples. Then, starting from the Shi Chuk Hung Point, sweep upward to the Shi Chuk Hung Point again, and then continue downward, below the eyes, to the Shi Chuk Hung Point. This constitutes one cycle, and repeat this motion 64 times.

 

By massaging these four acupoints, you can not only relieve eye fatigue but also improve the blood circulation around the eyes and prevent eye conditions such as nearsightedness. When we do eye exercises, remember to keep our eyes closed throughout the entire process. After completing the eye exercises, it’s also important to keep your eyes closed for 2 to 5 minutes. We typically press each acupoint for 64 times. Why 64 times? It’s because, from the perspective of Traditional Chinese Medicine “eighty-eight sixty-four“, we call it the “first of eight eights” meaning the most important.

小朋友不願意自己睡覺，又或半夜醒來找爸媽，如何是好？
How to deal with young children who are unwilling to sleep on their own
and wake up in the middle of the night looking for their parents?

資料來源：註冊臨床心理學家饒方莉

 

很多家長晚上睡覺的時候都很頭痛的，因為小朋友不是不肯睡覺，就是一定要家長陪伴他們睡覺，甚至到了深夜起來的時候一定要去找家長，如果不是就會哭鬧不願睡。面對小朋友一些睡覺的問題，我們有甚麼方法可以幫到小朋友學習睡得更加好或自行入睡呢？

 

首先家長要明白小朋友睡得不好或不肯入睡，是一個惡性循環，就是過分依賴家長安撫。這個惡性循環，即是要家長在身邊拍他、抱他、呵他，小朋友才會產生睡意。而家長陪伴他、安撫他的行為成為了一個先決條件，而沒了這個先決條件，小朋友到了深夜的時候就會驚醒，必需要找回家長。

 

所以我們要幫助小朋友學會自我調節 (Self-Soothing)或讓孩子學習自行入睡，這個方法是很重要。研究指出，三個月大的嬰兒大概會慢慢開始培養一種自我調節Self-sooth的能力。而大概到九個月的嬰兒，其實有50至80%的嬰兒都能夠一覺睡到天光，所以家長必需相信小朋友是有這個能力，幫他自己進行自我調節，可以自行入睡。

 

但我們要幫助他培養的，我們要先建立一個睡前的常規，包括睡房。最好是一個全黑的環境，因為全黑的環境就可以產生褪黑色素 ，是我們腦部的一種物質幫助我們產生睡意，及可以加速我們睡眠。第二， 是我們嘗試給小朋友建立一個睡前一定會做的指定動作，可以是哄他睡覺、唱歌、按摩又或是說故事，但只有一個指定動作，你可和小朋友討論是甚麼指定動作，他會想做的。每晚在那個時間，我們就做這個指定動作，接著便關燈睡覺去。這個指定動作就會令小朋友腦部開始知道差不多要睡覺了。

Source : Registered Clinical Psychologist, Yiu Fong Lee

 

Many parents experience headaches when their children have trouble sleeping at night. This could be because the children either refuse to sleep or insist on having their parents with them while they sleep. Some children even wake up in the middle of the night and cry unless they find their parents. What methods can help children learn to sleep better or fall asleep on their own?

 

First, parents need to understand that a child’s poor sleep habits or refusal to sleep can create a vicious cycle of excessive dependence on parental comfort. In this cycle, children require things like being patted, held, or soothed by their parents in order to feel sleepy. Parental presence and soothing become prerequisites for their sleep, and without these conditions, children may wake up in the middle of the night and seek their parents.

 

Therefore, it’s important to help children learn self-soothing techniques or to teach them how to fall asleep independently. Research indicates that around three-month-old infants gradually begin to develop the ability to self-soothe. By about nine months of age, 50 to 80% of infants can sleep through the night. Parents should have confidence in their child’s ability to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own, and they can assist in this process.

 

However, what we need to help them develop is to establish a bedtime routine, including the bedroom environment. It’s best to have a completely dark room because darkness stimulates the production of melatonin, a substance in our brain that helps us feel sleepy and speeds up our sleep. Secondly, we should try to establish a specific bedtime ritual for the child, which could involve cuddling them to sleep, singing, giving a massage, or telling a story – but it should be just one designated activity. You can discuss with the child what this designated activity should be, something they would enjoy. Every night at that time, we perform this designated activity, then turn off the lights and go to sleep. This designated activity will signal to the child’s brain that it’s almost time to sleep.

第三，要記得藍光對小朋友有很多影響。藍光會擾亂我們腦內褪黑色素的分泌，而這會影響睡眠，令到我們失眠或影響睡眠質素。所以家長記著在睡房裡絕對不可以有電子產品，以及在睡前的1個小時不可以讓小朋友使用任何電子產品，這樣都可以幫助小朋友睡覺。

Thirdly, it’s important to remember that blue light can have a significant impact on children. Blue light can disrupt the secretion of melatonin in our brains, which can affect sleep and lead to insomnia or poor sleep quality. Therefore, parents should ensure that there are absolutely no electronic devices in the bedroom, and children should not be allowed to use any electronic devices in the hour leading up to bedtime. This can help children sleep better.

第四個方法是有限度安撫（Control Comforting）。這個方法就是我們會給予一些安撫小朋友，可以隨著他們的年紀，安撫的時間會慢慢縮短。例如和小朋友談天，我陪你5分鐘，然後媽媽便會出去。5分鐘後可以和小朋友說：「媽媽現在出去，一會兒可能隔5分鐘後，再回來看你。如果你可以幫自己閉眼安靜在這裡，嘗試一下自行入睡，媽媽便會親你一下。」然後，將出房間的時間慢慢增加，可能5分鐘、10分鐘、15分鐘，讓小朋友在房裡面單獨慢慢學習，培養自行入睡和self-sooth 自我調整的能力。

 

如果到了深夜時小朋友醒了找家長的時候，我們應該怎樣處理？其實是同樣的原則就是陪小朋友一會兒，然後鼓勵他自行入睡。如果可以的話，將時間一直延長，直至他可以自行入睡。

The fourth method is controlled comforting. This method involves providing comfort to the child but gradually reducing the comforting time as they grow older. For example, you can engage in a conversation with the child, saying, “I’ll stay with you for 5 minutes, and then Mommy will leave. After 5 minutes, I’ll come back to check on you. If you can try to close your eyes and stay quiet here, Mommy will give you a kiss.” Then, slowly increase the time before leaving the room, maybe 5 minutes, 10 minutes, or 15 minutes, allowing the child to gradually learn to fall asleep on their own and develop self-soothing abilities.


What should we do if the child wakes up in the middle of the night and seeks their parents’ presence? The same principle applies here: stay with the child for a while and then encourage them to fall asleep independently. If possible, keep extending the time until they can fall asleep on their own.

為何孩子在家裡、學校兩個樣？
Children are two different beings at home and school

撰文：香港家庭教育學院主席司徒永富博士

 

有教師問筆者：「不少家長都問我有關升學、管教孩子的意見，其實我初出茅廬，人生經驗尚淺，要面對複雜的政策、養兒育女問題，常感到力不從心，應如何是好呢？ 」

 

在每個學期，學校總安排一至兩次的機會，讓家長與老師見面，討論小朋友在學校的表現。筆者身為父親，一定爭取與太太一同出席，而每次短聚後，兒子總愛追問和想知道我們與老師討論了甚麼有關他的事情。最近一次，老師提及兒子在校還是比較安靜，不太主動，總喜歡扮演「觀察者」(Observer)的角色，太太急不及待地說他在家裡卻完全不同，非常活躍和「意見多多」。老師的反應並不驚訝，只是不斷地微笑，似乎非常接納小朋友在家一個模樣，在校又有另一個模樣。

Written by: Dr. Szeto Wing Fu, Chairman of the Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

 

A teacher asked me, “Many parents seek my advice on education and disciplining their children. As a new teacher with limited life experience, I often feel inadequate in dealing with complex education policies and child-rearing issues. What should I do?”

 

Every semester, the school arranges one or two opportunities for parents to meet with teachers and discuss their children’s performance at school. As a father, I always strive to attend these meetings together with my wife. After each brief gathering, our son would eagerly ask and want to know what we discussed with the teacher about him. Recently, the teacher mentioned that our son is relatively quiet at school, not very proactive, and often takes on the role of an “observer.” My wife couldn’t wait to say that he is completely different at home, very active and full of “many opinions.” The teacher’s reaction was not surprised but rather smiled continuously, seemingly very accepting of the fact that children can present different sides at home and at school.

太太當然用期待的眼神望向老師，渴望能為她指點迷津，應怎樣才可以讓孩子在學習環境中變得主動。還好，筆者說了幾句「公道」說話，憶述去年兒子入學時處處害怕，經常成「獨行俠」。過去一年晚上，與兒子的禱告總離不開去求天父讓他勇敢一點，而今年已經進步多了。回家途中，筆者亦不忘提醒太太，在很多事情都沒有標準答案和良方妙藥，而且老師又比我們年青，亦未曾為人父母，但卻有處理不同小朋友的經驗。所以，家長和老師在小朋友成長路上多點交流，才是最重要。

 

還原真我

最近，有家長問筆者：孩子在學校十分乖巧，是個彬彬有禮的模範生，但在家裡卻經常發脾氣，為甚麼他會「人前人後兩個樣」？我應該如何處理呢？

 

筆者的兒子在小一的上學期，曾連續兩星期發生一些「不可思議」的事，例如他心愛的「軍曹」手錶不翼而飛、書本被發現掉在清潔箱、習作簿被塗鴉及撕破。筆者和太太除了難以接受上述事件，仍想解開內心的迷團：究竟這些事情是誰做的？

My wife naturally looked at the teacher with expectant eyes, hoping to get some guidance on how to make our child more proactive in the learning environment. Fortunately, I spoke a few “fair” words, recalling how our son was fearful and often a “lone ranger” when he first started school last year. Over the past year, our evening prayers with our son have always included a request to our Heavenly Father to make him braver, and this year he has made much progress. On the way home, I also reminded my wife that there are no standard answers or miraculous remedies for many things, and the teacher, being younger than us and not yet a parent, still has experience in dealing with different children. Therefore, it is most important for parents and teachers to communicate more on the children’s journey of growth.

 

Embracing Our True Selves

Recently, a parent asked me: “My child is very well-behaved at school, a courteous and exemplary student, but at home, he often throws tantrums. Why does he have such different behaviors in front of others and at home? How should I handle this?”

 

During the first semester of my son’s primary one, there were two consecutive weeks of “inexplicable” incidents, such as his beloved “Sergeant” watch going missing, books found in the trash bin, exercise books doodled and torn. My wife and I were both baffled and still wanted to unravel the mystery in our hearts: who could be behind these incidents?

太太在星期一的早上，特意到學校找老師討論事件，然而臨出門口前，筆者非常堅定地向太太說：「無論塗鴉、撕破或把書本當垃圾遺棄，我肯定這些事情一定不會是兒子作的。」太太問：「為甚麼你那麼肯定？」我的答案是：「因為兒子是我生的，我伴著他成長，我對他的性情暸如指掌。」最後發現，原來是他鄰近的同學作的。自那天起，筆者發現孩子在學校和在家裡的行為起了「微妙」的變化 － 孩子似乎學懂學校是一個社群：書本「過了界」會令鄰座同學不高興、而老師在學校有如球證，要「生存」便要懂得「遊戲規則」。可是放學回到家裡卻隨即還原真我，因為家裡有最了解他的爸爸、媽媽。

 

事實上，在成年人的世界，又豈不也是白天一個我，晚上一個我？

On Monday morning, my wife went to the school to discuss the incident with the teacher. However, just before leaving, I firmly told my wife, “No matter the doodles, tears, or books being treated as garbage, I am certain that our son didn’t do any of these.” She asked, “Why are you so sure?” My answer was, “Because he is my son, and I have been with him as he grew up. I know his temperament like the back of my hand.” Eventually, it was found that his neighboring classmate was responsible for those actions. Since that day, I noticed a “subtle” change in our child’s behavior between school and home – at school, he seemed to have learned that it is a community: crossing certain boundaries with books would upset classmates, and the teachers were like referees, and to “survive” he had to understand the “rules of the game.” But when he came home after school, he would immediately embrace his true self, because at home, he had his dad and mom, who understood him the most.


In fact, isn’t it true that in the adult world, we also have a different self during the day and at night?

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叻仔不難得 好媽實難求
A good son is not hard to find, but a good mother is difficult to come by

撰文：新領域潛能發展中心 註冊教育心理學家 彭智華

 

筆者曾經聽過兩位媽媽的對話，不知讀者有沒有同感，其中一位說：「你運氣真好！生了個乖寶寶，我卻沒那樣幸運……」有些媽媽或會認為，孩子好與壞，絕大部分與先天有關。事實上，孩子的後天培養亦十分重要，媽媽是否能掌握管教技巧和保持穩定的情緒狀態，均能為孩子帶來很大影響。

 

當媽媽要指責或教導孩子時，必須先問問自己，是否清楚問題背後的原因。自己會否也有一些不足之處，又或能否找到其他解決問題的可能性，並非將所有問題歸因於「好命」與「不好命」上。常言道：「世有伯樂，然後有千里馬」，很多父母都希望子女成龍成鳳，其實要令一般子女成材並不困難，特別現今社會提倡多元化發展，孩子能夠發揮的空間無疑也較大。過往社會崇尚醫生、律師等「尊貴」職業，但隨著社會轉型，社會同樣對於在設計和藝術等範疇中有出色表現的人予以欣賞。最重要的是，作為媽媽的有否把握機會，細心發掘孩子的優點。

Written: New Horizons Development Centre, Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

 

I once overheard a conversation between two mothers, and I wonder if the readers can relate to it. One of them said, “You’re so lucky! You have a well-behaved baby, but I wasn’t that fortunate…” Some mothers may believe that a child’s behavior is largely determined by their innate qualities. However, the truth is that postnatal nurturing is equally crucial, and a mother’s ability to grasp effective discipline techniques and maintain a stable emotional state can have a significant impact on their child.

 

When a mother wants to criticize or teach her child, she must first ask herself if she truly understands the underlying reasons behind the issue. Is there any room for improvement on her part, or can she find alternative ways to address the problem, rather than attributing everything to “good luck” or “bad luck”? There’s a saying, “When there is a master, there will be exceptional talents.” Many parents hope their children will achieve great success, but in reality, helping an ordinary child to thrive is not difficult, especially in today’s society, which advocates diversified development. Children have more opportunities to showcase their talents. While the past society revered “prestigious” professions like doctors and lawyers, as society transforms, people also appreciate excellence in design, arts, and other fields. Most importantly, as a mother, whether you seize the chance to carefully discover your child’s strengths is crucial.

但是，好的子女也需要好的父母去培育。雖然現今是男女平等的年代，但媽媽在親子的地位上仍是非常重要。若媽媽希望自己懂得教好孩子，就必須多花一些時間參加有關的親子課程，聽取不同專家的意見，如教育心理學家、社工或其他教育工作者，學習分析孩子的情況，並給予孩子最適當的教育方法及幫助。另外，家長也可參加一些家長互助小組，或把握機會與其他家長保持聯絡，互相交流和觀摩，分享教育子女的心得及方法，對媽媽如何教導子女將有莫大的幫助。

 

所以，若希望自己的子女成才，媽媽自己先要以身作則，努力做好自己應當做的事，積極學習管教孩子的技巧。請緊記：孩子到來不是要向你「報仇」，而是來向你「報恩」。在學習管教孩子的過程中，媽媽能夠學到，可能比教導孩子的還要多。因為在教育孩子的知識及學問的同時，自己於知識上也有得益。另外，過程中所遇到的困難，對於媽媽來說，也是耐性及內涵的考驗，增加人生的歷練及對生命的體會。

 

於文章的開首的點題是「好孩子並不是與生俱來的」所以最後筆者亦以一句話作總結：「好的媽媽也不是天生的」。

However, good children also need good parents to nurture them. Although today is an era of gender equality, mothers still play a crucial role in the parent-child relationship. If a mother wishes to effectively educate her child, she must invest more time in participating in relevant parenting courses, listening to different experts’ opinions, such as educational psychologists, social workers, or other educators, to learn how to analyze the child’s situation and provide the most appropriate educational methods and assistance. Additionally, parents can join some parent support groups, or take the opportunity to stay in touch with other parents, exchange ideas and observations, share experiences and methods of educating children, which will be of great help to mothers in how to teach their children.


Therefore, if you want your children to succeed, as a mother, you must lead by example, strive to do what you should do, and actively learn disciplinary skills for children. Please remember: children come not to “take revenge” on you but to “repay kindness” to you. In the process of learning to discipline children, a mother can learn even more than what she teaches her child. While imparting knowledge and learning to educate children, she herself also benefits in knowledge. Moreover, the challenges encountered in the process are a test of patience and inner qualities for the mother, contributing to life experiences and understanding of life.


The title at the beginning of the article was “Good children are not born that way,” so in conclusion, I summarize with one sentence: “Good mothers are not born that way either.”

洗澡時間長 濕疹手尾長
Long bathing time,
eczema will become problematic and requires a long time to heal

撰文：楊明霞中醫師

 

最近，有家長把女兒患有濕疹的病況上傳至社交網站，相中看到小女孩的手腳紅腫，而且皮膚糜爛，的確我見猶憐。於是，全城的家長也正紛紛分享對付濕疹的秘方，因為不少人也是濕疹的受害者，每逢轉季也會叫苦連天。

 

濕疹 (eczema) 是一種常見的過敏性皮炎，不具傳染性。中醫稱濕疹為「濕瘡」，是香港常見的皮膚病。濕疹的內在因素包括體質、情志和腑臟功能失調，而外在因素則包括風、濕、熱阻於肌膚。當個人體質較弱及自身免疫系統功能低，風濕熱邪浸淫肌膚，結果會形成濕疹或令濕疹問題更嚴重。濕疹可發於身體任何部位，例如耳、頭、面、手、臍部和小腿等，但卻對稱分佈，患者會感到非常痕癢，當用手搔癢時常引致皮膚糜爛、滲出瘡液，甚至含濃，而且反覆發作，令皮膚表面變得粗糙，瘡痂隆起。要對付濕疹，要從這 3 個小習慣做起：

Written by：YEUNG Ming Ha, Registered Chinese Medicine Practitioner


Recently, a parent uploaded pictures of their daughter suffering from eczema on a social media platform. Looking at the little girl’s red and swollen hands and feet, and her skin all irritated, indeed, it’s heartbreaking. As a result, parents all over the city are now sharing their secret remedies to deal with eczema because many of them or their children are also affected by eczema, and they often suffer during seasonal changes.


Eczema is a common allergic dermatitis and is not contagious. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), eczema is referred to as “wet sores” and is a prevalent skin condition in Hong Kong. The internal factors contributing to eczema include the individual’s constitution, emotional state, and dysfunction of the body’s organs, while external factors involve wind, dampness, and heat obstructing the skin. When a person has a weaker constitution and a lower immune system, wind, dampness, and heat pathogenic factors may invade the skin, resulting in eczema or exacerbating existing eczema issues. Eczema can occur on any part of the body, such as the ears, head, face, hands, navel, and lower legs, but it usually appears symmetrically. Patients often feel intense itching, and scratching can lead to skin abrasions, oozing of pus, and even infection. The condition tends to recur, making the skin rough and the scabs raised. To deal with eczema, it’s essential to start by addressing these three small habits:

縮短洗澡時間

當濕疹發作時，患者常會禁不住抓癢。手是我們最容易接觸細菌 ，而且有最多微生物的地方，所以要戒掉經常摸面的壊習慣，以免加重皮膚發炎的機會。同時，患者也不應經常用酒精成分高的產品洗手，因為化學成分會刺激及削弱皮脂膜。除此之外，由於患者的皮膚感到痕癢，所以一般都喜歡洗手和洗澡，時間亦很長，誤以為能夠紓緩痕癢亦感覺上較潔淨。其實，過分清潔反而會破壞皮膚表面的皮脂膜及角質層，令皮膚的天然保護屏障受損，加劇濕疹問題。因此筆者建議患者縮短洗澡時間，最好不超過3分鐘。同時，患者亦應選用低敏性的護膚品和沐浴產品，減低對皮膚的刺激。如果患者的濕疹情況嚴重，筆者建議可只清洗腋下、下身及流汗多位置。

筆者在此介紹一款抗敏的配方給大家，材料有防風六錢、苦參六錢和生甘草三錢，用猛火煲 30 分鐘後，用來沖洗敏感患處，有很好的潤膚止癢功效。


良好的生活和衛生習慣

患者的家居環境需時常清理，而且要勤加換洗床單和貼身衣物。另外，患者宜穿著寬鬆和純棉的衣服，應避免穿著毛料的緊身衣，衣服上更不要殘留洗滌劑等化學成分。至於生活作息方面，患者要早睡早起，不要熬夜和飲食要均衡，加上足夠運動，以提高自身的免疫力，減低誘發濕疹的機會。在運動後，應立即把汗抹乾，替換被汗浸濕的衣物，這樣可以令皮膚保持清潔乾爽。當然，最重要的是保持樂觀的心態，減輕壓力。

Shorten bathing time

When eczema flares up, patients often can’t resist scratching. Hands are the most susceptible to bacterial contact and harbor the most microorganisms. Therefore, it’s important to avoid the habit of frequently touching the face to prevent exacerbating skin inflammation. Additionally, patients should refrain from using products with high alcohol content frequently, as the chemical components can irritate and weaken the skin’s natural barrier. Furthermore, due to the itching sensation on their skin, patients tend to wash their hands and take long baths, mistakenly thinking it can relieve itching and provide a sense of cleanliness. However, excessive cleaning can actually damage the skin’s sebum layer and stratum corneum, compromising the skin’s natural protective barrier and worsening eczema problems. Therefore, it is recommended for patients to shorten their bathing time, ideally not exceeding 3 minutes. At the same time, they should choose hypoallergenic skincare and bathing products to minimize irritation to the skin. For severe cases of eczema, it is suggested to only cleanse the armpits, lower body, and areas prone to sweating.

Here, I am introducing an anti-allergic formula: The ingredients include Fang Feng (防風) 6 qian, Ku Shen (苦參) 6 qian, and Sheng Gan Cao (生甘草) 3 qian. Boil them with strong fire for 30 minutes, then use it to rinse the sensitive areas. It has excellent moisturizing and itch-relief effects.

 

Good lifestyle and hygiene habits

Patients’ living environment needs regular cleaning, and they should frequently change bedsheets and close-fitting clothes. Moreover, patients should wear loose and cotton clothes, avoid wearing tight clothes made of wool, and ensure no chemical residues like detergents remain on their clothes. Regarding daily routines, patients should go to bed and wake up early, avoid staying up late, maintain a balanced diet, exercise adequately to boost their immune system, and reduce the chances of triggering eczema. After exercising, they should immediately wipe away sweat and change into dry clothes to keep the skin clean and dry. Of course, the most crucial aspect is maintaining a positive mindset to reduce stress.

戒口有效防濕疹


 濕疹的發病與某些食物敏感有密切關係，所以戒口對皮膚敏感的治療十分重要。皮膚病患者在治療期間，均應禁食「發物」。「發物」是指能誘發皮膚病患者出疹，病情加重的食物，發物主要包括海鮮類、牛肉、甜食、辛辣及酒等食物。皮膚病多由 「濕」、「熱」積聚化成「毒」而起，患者的體質一般屬於先天性脾胃虛弱型，當進食過量辛辣和蝦蟹海鮮等高刺激性的食物，又或於夏季大量進食生冷食物，以致濕毒困身，容易引致脾臟運化失常，增加患上濕疹的機會。

Dietary Restrictions Effectively Prevent Eczema

The onset of eczema is closely related to certain food sensitivities, so dietary restrictions are essential in the treatment of skin sensitivity. During the treatment of skin diseases, patients should avoid consuming “triggering foods.” “Triggering foods” are those that can induce rashes and worsen the condition in skin disease patients. These triggering foods mainly include seafood, beef, sweets, spicy foods, and alcoholic beverages. Skin diseases are often caused by the accumulation of “dampness” and “heat,” leading to the formation of “toxins.” Patients with skin conditions usually have a constitution characterized by congenital weakness of the spleen and stomach. When they consume excessive amounts of spicy foods, shrimp, crab, seafood, and other highly stimulating foods, or when they consume a large amount of raw and cold food during the summer, it can lead to the accumulation of damp toxins in the body. This can easily cause abnormalities in spleen and stomach functions, increasing the likelihood of developing eczema.

如何處理小孩升小的焦慮？
How to handle a child’s anxiety about starting primary school?

資料來源：婚姻及家庭治療師吳綺琴

 

小朋友升讀小一，未能適應，有些不但會經常在學校喊著說掛念媽媽，更會出現食慾不振等問題。家長擔心小朋友出現焦慮，可能會不斷跟他説「只要你盡力就可，媽媽不看分數成績！」但這樣做可以處理小朋友的焦慮嗎？抑或會弄巧反拙？

 

首先，家長要明白小朋友由幼稚園升上小一是一個很大的轉變。對於小朋友而言，他真的需要一段很長的時間來適應。因為在小一階段，功課深了、守的規則多了，加上老師也嚴格了。小朋友也會有焦慮情緒，影響小朋友身體出現各種症狀，或甚害怕上學。

 

那麼小朋友要用多少時間適應呢？其實是因人而異。一般來說，一些比較內向或是觀察型小朋友容易變得焦慮，所以他們適應的時間可能相對比較長一點。因此，父母先要了解小朋友的性格和氣質，以調節自己對小朋友這段適應期間的期望，並千萬不要和其他小朋友來比較。

Source: Marriage and Family Therapist, Ng Yee Kam

 

When a child enters first grade and fails to adapt, some may frequently express their longing for their mothers at school and even experience a loss of appetite. Parents are concerned about their child’s anxiety and may continuously tell them, “As long as you do your best, Mom doesn’t care about grades!” But does this approach effectively address the child’s anxiety, or does it backfire?

 

First of all, parents need to understand that the transition from kindergarten to first grade is a significant change for a child. It truly takes a long time for the child to adapt. In the first-grade stage, the workload increases, rules become stricter, and teachers are more demanding. Children may experience anxiety, leading to various physical symptoms or fear of going to school.

 

So, how much time does a child need to adapt? It actually varies from person to person. Generally speaking, more introverted or observant children are prone to anxiety, so it may take them a relatively longer time to adapt. Therefore, parents should first understand their child’s personality and temperament, adjust their expectations during this adaptation period, and never compare their child with other children.

美國精神科醫生Dr Daniel Siegel，他提出了一個很有用的方法 —— Name it to Tame it。當家長觀察到小朋友在情緒方面有一些波動時，父母會先使用自己的左腦分析小朋友發生甚麼事。父母應要同時使用左右腦，代入小朋友的感受和處境裡，然後將你感受到小朋友的感受說出來，這個就是「Name it」。

 

例如你和小朋友說：「你是不是很害怕？你是不是很擔心？你好像吃不了飯，是不是有甚麼正在憂慮？」我們如果能夠將小朋友這些情緒說出來，其實就是將小朋友在右腦裡感受到的東西，很清晰地勾畫出來。

 

對於一些較大的小朋友，父母就可以鼓勵他自己將情緒說出來，父母則可回應他們。這一種大人和小朋友右腦和右腦的聯繫，能穩定焦慮的情緒，這個過程我們稱為Connect。當Connect之後，我們就可以和小朋友再聊一些其他事情。

Dr. Daniel Siegel, an American psychiatrist, has proposed a very useful method called “Name it to Tame it.” When parents observe emotional fluctuations in their children, they first use their left brain to analyze what might be happening with their child. Parents should use both their left and right brains, empathizing with the child’s feelings and situation, and then verbalize what they perceive the child is feeling. This is the “Name it” step.

 

For example, you can say to your child, “Are you feeling scared? Are you feeling worried? It seems like you have no appetite. Is there something you’re anxious about?” When we are able to express the child’s emotions, we are actually delineating what the child is experiencing in their right brain very clearly.

 

For older children, parents can encourage them to express their emotions themselves, and parents can respond to them. This connection between the adult’s and the child’s right brain helps stabilize anxious emotions. We refer to this process as “Connect.” After the connection is established, we can engage in conversation about other topics with the child.

但是父母要記著，當小朋友說出自己情緒時，我們千萬不要跟他說：「不用擔心，傻的，不用想這些。」或「你這樣便行了，你盡力就可以了。」如果我們用左腦去回應，是無法舒緩右腦那種焦慮，亦不能夠安定到他那個中腦負責情緒區域的部分。

 

最後就是當父母能夠用一些情緒詞彙，將小朋友的感受能夠說出在腦中發生的事情，也就是將右腦裡一些情緒，變成左腦的認知，我們稱之為Redirect。當在認知上，明白自己正在經歷和感受甚麼，這樣我們的右腦便會想辦法來解決這個問題，便是Problem Solving。

 

在處理小朋友焦慮和緊張等問題時，上述的先後次序是很重要。除了先後次序之外，還要父母的耐性。我們要耐性讓小朋友明白自己的情緒，這樣我們便可以和小朋友一起想出對策。

However, parents should remember that when a child expresses their emotions, we must avoid saying things like, “Don’t worry, it’s silly, don’t think about these things,” or “You’re fine as you are, just do your best.” If we respond with our left brain, we cannot alleviate the right brain’s anxiety or bring calmness to the child’s midbrain responsible for emotions.


Lastly, when parents are able to use emotional vocabulary and verbalize what is happening in the child’s mind, it means transforming some of the emotions in the right brain into left brain cognition. This process is called “Redirect.” When we cognitively understand what we are experiencing and feeling, our right brain will find ways to solve the problem, which is referred to as “Problem Solving.”


The sequence mentioned above is crucial when dealing with a child’s anxiety and nervousness. Besides the order, parents also need to have patience. We need to be patient in helping the child understand their emotions so that we can come up with strategies together.

把工作放在辦公室
Keeping work inside the office

撰文：香港家庭教育學院總監狄志遠博士

 

香港是一個高度競爭的社會，講求效率、高增值和高生產，所以香港人都是「工作狂」，或被迫接受很長的工作時間。理論上，我們的工作時間是有規則的，例如：朝九晚五或朝九晚六，當然亦有些職業是有更長的工作時間，但總會有下班的時間。不過，近年有不少朋友下班後仍會把工作帶回家繼續忙碌，再加上現時的電子平台及互聯網非常發達，所以更方便大家下班後仍可以在電子平台上繼續工作及聯絡。結果，在不知不覺間，大家變得沒有穩定的下班時間，回到家中仍打開電腦，繼續查看和回覆電郵、看報告和寫計劃書等等。

 

工作時間長，除了對身心健康造成影響外，時刻記掛著工作的進度，同時亦會造成心理壓力，嚴重影響家人的情緒，所以香港人普遍都有情緒壓力問題。把工作帶回家，不單是一些事務或任務，同時是把工作壓力一併帶回家。這些壓力會不知不覺影響自己的情緒，也因此影響家人的情緒。當然，子女希望父母能陪他們玩耍，但父母在家要忙於工作，於是覺得子女很煩，便將情緒轉嫁到孩子身上。

Written by: Dr. Tik Chi-yuen, Director of Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

 

Hong Kong is a highly competitive society that emphasizes efficiency, high added value, and high productivity. Therefore, Hong Kong people are known as “workaholics” or are forced to accept long working hours. In theory, our work hours have regulations, such as working from nine to five or nine to six. Of course, there are professions with longer working hours, but there should always be an end to the workday. However, in recent years, many individuals continue to be busy with work even after leaving the office. Additionally, with the advanced electronic platforms and the internet today, it has become more convenient for people to work and communicate on these platforms even after work. As a result, without realizing it, we no longer have a stable off-duty time. When we return home, we still open our computers to continue checking and replying to emails, reading reports, and writing proposals, and so on.

 

Long working hours not only have an impact on our physical and mental health but also cause constant concern about work progress, leading to psychological stress. This stress seriously affects the emotions of family members, which is why Hong Kong people generally experience emotional stress. Bringing work home means not only bringing some tasks or assignments but also bringing work-related stress. These pressures unconsciously affect our own emotions and, consequently, the emotions of our family members. Naturally, children hope that their parents can spend time playing with them, but when parents are busy with work at home, they may find their children bothersome and transfer their emotions onto them.

家庭是一個促進家庭成員互相支持的地方，我們在情感上應有更多更深入的互動，互相分享關懷與愛。但當我們把工作帶回家後，大家會感受到你的壓力及情緒，子女逐漸會覺得與你難以溝通，結果嚴重影響親子關係，那是十分不值得的。

 

我們回到家中，不是延續處理事工，而是要與家人建立親密關係，所以回到家中，要多與家人有親密行為，例如擁抱、玩遊戲和說故事等。同時要多表達愛意，分享心事。在家中是談情說愛的，而不是忙於回覆公司的電郵。這不單可以舒展大家的身心，也懂享受家庭樂。

Family is a place that promotes mutual support among family members, and we should have more profound emotional interactions, sharing care and love with each other. However, when we bring work home, everyone can feel your stress and emotions, and gradually, children may find it difficult to communicate with you, resulting in a serious impact on the parent-child relationship, which is not worthwhile.

 

When we come back home, it’s not about continuing to deal with work matters, but rather about building intimate relationships with family members. So, when you come home, engage in more intimate behaviors with your family, such as hugging, playing games, and telling stories. At the same time, express love and share thoughts. At home, it’s about talking about love and affection, rather than being busy replying to work emails. This not only helps to relax everyone’s mind and body but also allows us to enjoy the joy of family.

工作時工作，遊戲時遊戲，這是最簡單的道理，就請大家把工作放在辨公室內，將愉快的心情帶回家中。

Work when you’re working, play when you’re playing. This is the simplest principle, so please everyone, keep work in the office and bring a joyful mood back home.

為甚麼小朋友會出現反覆呼吸道感染？
Why do children experience recurrent respiratory infections?

資料來源：註冊中醫師徐澤昌

 

如果小朋友經常性出現反覆呼吸道的感染，即經常患上感冒和咳嗽。在中醫角度而言，也是因為他肺脾氣虛及肺脾不足而引起，即個人抵抗力下降了。這些小朋友很多時候因肺氣虛，可能經常感到疲倦或是說話的時候沒有力氣等。如果小朋友脾虛的話，很多時會感到食慾不振又或容易腹瀉。以中醫角度而言，主要便是照顧肺脾，即是要照顧肺脾之氣，讓他能夠增強抵抗力。

 

他在很短的時間裡剛剛痊癒了卻再次患上感冒，患上感冒後又痊癒，經常性這樣出現，便屬於反覆呼吸道感染。譬如小朋友這次生病了，可能剛痊癒了一、兩個星期後，又再次感冒，又再次出現呼吸道感染。在中醫角度而言，已經可以判斷為小兒反覆呼吸道感染，即生病的頻率和次數比一般人多。

Source: Registered Chinese medicine practitioner, Tsui Chak Cheong

 

If a child frequently experiences recurrent respiratory infections, such as frequent colds and coughs, from the perspective of Chinese medicine, it is also caused by deficiency of Qi in the lung and spleen and deficiency of the lung and spleen, leading to a weakened immune system. These children often feel tired due to lung qi deficiency and may lack energy when speaking. If they have spleen deficiency, they may experience loss of appetite or easily have diarrhea. From the Chinese medicine standpoint, the focus is on taking care of the lung and spleen, which involves nurturing their qi to enhance their resistance.

 

If a child has just recovered from an illness but quickly falls ill again or experiences recurrent respiratory infections, it falls under the category of recurrent respiratory infections. For example, after recovering from an illness, the child may catch another cold within one or two weeks, leading to another respiratory infection. From the Chinese medicine perspective, it can be determined as recurrent respiratory infections in children, where the frequency and number of illnesses are higher than average.

又或是可能以前不是這樣的，以前你可能一年會生病三次，但是今年你可能只過了半年，卻已經每個月生病一次，又或是兩個星期便生病一次，這樣子就可能是你的小朋友的身體出現了問題。

 

如何通過飲食來有效地預防感冒？其實最主要便是飲食清淡面、注意營養及勞逸合適，即運動和休息時間要取得平衡。日常飲食中，要吸收多一點維他命C及維他命A等，增強自身的抵抗力。家長可煲青紅蘿蔔湯，盡量不要讓小朋友吃太多煎炸、濃味食物及難消化的食物，因為小朋友的消化能力還是很弱，即脾常不足的特徵。如果平常天天吃快餐或是天天吃一些很難消化及濃味的零吃，小朋友的身體會累積痰熱。這些痰熱加上外界的病邪入侵身體，就會形成一些容易感冒的體質。

Or it could be that in the past, it wasn’t like this. Previously, you might have gotten sick three times a year, but this year, it’s possible that within just six months, you’ve already been falling ill every month or once every two weeks. In such cases, it’s possible that there are underlying issues with your child’s health.

 

How can diet effectively prevent colds? The key is to have a light and balanced diet, pay attention to nutrition, and maintain a proper balance between activity and rest. In daily meals, it’s important to consume more vitamin C and vitamin A to strengthen the body’s immune system. Parents can prepare carrot soup and try to minimize the consumption of fried, heavily seasoned, and hard-to-digest foods for children because their digestive capacity is still weak, which is a characteristic of spleen deficiency. If children frequently consume fast food or indulge in hard-to-digest and highly seasoned snacks, their bodies may accumulate phlegm and heat. This accumulation, combined with the invasion of external pathogenic factors, can create a susceptibility to frequent colds.

如果要推薦湯水，有一種湯水稱為「玉屏風散」。「玉屏風散」的主要材料是黃耆、白术和防風這三種藥材，如果我們煲湯水，也可以用這三種藥材，再放一塊瘦肉，放少許蜜棗。

If you want recommended soup, there is a type of soup called “Yukpingfung San.” The main ingredients of it are astragalus, white atractylodes, and saposhnikovia root. When preparing the soup, we can use these three medicinal herbs along with a lean meat and a few honey dates.

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