分類: 家長園地

家長如何幫助幼童在心理同生理上適應小學生活？
How can parents help young children adapt to primary school life both psychologically and physically?

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 13/12/2023

資料來源：香港教育大學社會學講座教授趙永佳教授

2023年已過了5個月，暑假很快又會到，然後又到9月開學日。這意味著一班K3同學準備迎接小學生活，但這班同學過去3年幼稚園生涯，大多都在疫情下的網課經過，甚少面授課程，又少機會與人接觸。家長可以如何幫助他們在心理和生理上適應升小生活？

升小一的同學最多只是等於K2程度，因為他們最少有一整年沒有回學校上課，而從幼稚園到小學，本來就已經有很多東西要適應，例如上學時間、在學校裡一些生活上的細節，甚至整個周期和學習模式都不同了。幼稚園一節課大約20分鐘左右，然後已經要轉另一節課，但是在小學可能是35分鐘或以上，很難維持集中力，所有這些問題，都會對小朋友造成很大的適應問題。

Source: Professor Chiu Wing Kai, Chair Professor of Sociology at the Education University of Hong Kong.

It’s already been 5 months into 2023 and summer vacation will be coming soon, followed by the start of the new school year in September. For K3 students to start their primary school life. However, these students have spent most of their 3-year kindergarten education in online classes due to the pandemic, with little face-to-face interaction. How can parents help them adapt to their new academic and social life in terms of their psychological and physical well-being.

Students who are promoted to Primary 1 are at most at K2 level because they have not returned to school for at least one full year. There are many things they need to adapt to when transitioning from kindergarten to primary school. These include school schedules, daily routines, and learning styles that are vastly different from what they are used to. Kindergarten classes typically last for around 20 minutes, after which they move on to another subject, but in primary school, classes can be 35 minutes or longer, making it difficult for them to maintain their focus. All of these issues can create significant adaptation problems for young students.

如何跟小朋友說明幼小交接的變化才是最好呢？首先家長不要太緊張，有很多小學會舉辦模擬課程，會有適應週，亦可參觀學校。小學比幼稚園大，小朋友可能會感到很高興，因為有很多不同的設備，他可能會有很多期待。但是我覺得有些事情要先開始才知道，太早和他說太多也沒有用，只能告訴他：「對，學校就是這樣。」

另外，有些事情小朋友現在還未能做到，並不代表他做不到，要待他長大。家長很多時候都是這樣，有些事情是沒有辦法，不能勉強的，而是要等待小朋友成長到那個階段才能做到，要記住每個小朋友的成長速度都不同。剛開學後他們放學回來，可觀察他情感的轉變，如果看到他有這些情況就要注意了。

So how can parents explain these changes to their children? Firstly, parents should not be too anxious, as many primary schools offer simulation courses and adaptation weeks for new students, as well as school visits. Primary schools are usually much larger than kindergartens, and young students may be excited about the various facilities and opportunities available to them. However, it is best to start talking to them once they begin school, as too much information too soon may be overwhelming. Simply telling them, “Yes, this is what school is like” is often enough.

Additionally, some things that young students may not be capable of now do not mean they cannot accomplish them, they just need time to grow and develop. Parents need to remember that every child has a different growth rate. After starting school, observe their emotional changes when they return home from school, and if you notice any issues, pay close attention to them.

小朋友的適應是需要時間的，但有時家長也要適應。在幼稚園我們稱為Homeroom（固定上課地點），由一名老師帶領，所以小朋友只會經常看到一兩位老師。如果在家長參與或家校協作時，很簡單只要找回那位老師便可。在小學，每個科目都有不同的老師，所以有時候出現狀況時，我們就要思考怎樣和老師溝通。

It takes time for young children to adapt, but sometimes parents also need to adapt. In kindergarten, we refer to it as the Homeroom (regular class location), where one teacher leads the class, and children usually only see one or two teachers. If parents need to participate or collaborate with the school, they can simply find that teacher. In primary school, each subject has different teachers, so if any issues arise, parents need to consider how to communicate with each teacher.

有孩子的開支特別大，父母可以如何為自己做好理財？
The expenses of having children are particularly high.
How can parents manage their finances effectively for themselves?

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 12/12/2023

資料來源：家加豬財商教育創辦人Sang Chan

養孩子經常都會比喻「一闊三大」，開支多了，作為父母的可以如何為自己做好理財？很多家長認為自己的收入多與少，主宰了自己的生活質素。生活質素固然與收入有關，但有一樣事情更重要。如果每個家庭做得好的話，生活質素一樣可以大大提升，那就是怎樣將自己的收入打理得好。

每位家長可以用一個簡單理財概念，也就是理財金字塔，來安排自己每個月的收入。這個理財金字塔的背後理念，說明了怎樣把自己賺到的每一元，分流好並放到適當位置，然後將每一元的價值都可以極大化。如果跟著這個理財金字塔的建構運作，每個家庭的財務狀況，都可以變得愈來愈健康。

整個金字塔的底部，我們第一個環節要做的就是MPF (強積金)，大概5%左右的錢要分流去MPF。安排MPF後下一個層次就是安排我們的basic need，即是基本需求。基本需求我們可以這樣理解就是我們的衣食住行，如果作為父母，當然包括了小朋友，他們的日常用品可能奶粉及尿布等等，甚至年紀大一點，他們讀書的學費，都是基本需求。

我們會面對的一些支出，基本需求這裡大概安排總收入的50%，這樣就是一個合理的水平。在處理基本需求之後，我們就會面對到稅務。稅務這個層次，稅務這一筆因人而異。在香港來說，大概5%左右的收入都能應付得了。

Source: Founder of Piggy Gaga Financial Education, Sang Chan.

Raising children is often described as “bit pricey,” meaning that expenses increase significantly. As parents, how can we manage our finances effectively? Many parents believe that their income level determines their quality of life. While income is certainly related to quality of life, there is something even more important. If every family handles it well, their quality of life can still be greatly improved, and that is how they manage their income.

Each parent can use a simple financial concept, known as the financial pyramid, to allocate their monthly income. The underlying principle of this financial pyramid explains how to divide and allocate every dollar earned to the appropriate areas, maximizing the value of each dollar. By following the construction and operation of this financial pyramid, the financial situation of every family can become increasingly healthy.

At the base of the pyramid, the first step is to allocate around 5% of the income to Mandatory Provident Fund (MPF). After setting aside funds for MPF, the next level is to allocate for our basic needs. Basic needs refer to our necessities such as clothing, food, housing, and transportation. As parents, this also includes the daily supplies for our children, such as formula milk and diapers. It may even include their educational expenses as they grow older.

Approximately 50% of the total income should be allocated to cover basic needs, which is a reasonable level. After managing basic needs, we then have to consider taxes. The amount of taxes varies for each individual. In Hong Kong, approximately 5% of the income is usually manageable for taxes.

安排這三層之後，剩下來的錢自己可以怎樣管理，令自己的生活一步一步變得更加優質？第一個部分就是流動現金，每個月把自己收入的10%左右安排在流動現金那部分。另外的10%可以安排在一些資產保護，最重要的資產當然就是自己怎樣可以保障自己或者家人。

安排完這兩個10%之後，剩下來大概有20%左右收入。這20%就正正可以安排在一些資產增值的地方，去完成一些人生上很想完成的目標。很多時候有些家長會問：「其實我們家庭是否要很富裕，才需要理財？如果我們收入只是剛剛好，我們可否理財？」

高收入的家庭就像一間大屋，可能真的比較多東西要打點的，可能有個雜物房，可以把雜物全部放進去，然後關上門。整間房子就整潔了，可能相對來說會簡單很多。

After allocating for these three levels, how can we manage the remaining money to gradually improve our quality of life? The first part is allocating around 10% of our income to liquid cash. Another 10% can be allocated to asset protection, where the most important asset is ensuring our own and our family’s well-being.

After arranging these two 10% allocations, we have approximately 20% of the income remaining. This 20% can be allocated to asset appreciation, allowing us to achieve some important life goals. Sometimes, parents may ask, “Do we need to be very wealthy as a family to engage in financial management? Can we manage our finances even if our income is just enough?”

High-income families are like large houses, and they may have more things to take care of. They might have a storage room where all the miscellaneous items can be stored and the door closed. The whole house will then become tidy, and the overall management will be much simpler.

但是如果我們的房子不是那麼大的話，比喻我們的收入。我們可以想像一間很小的房子，如果我們好好打點的話，會令生活更優質。如果收入比較充裕的話，當然可以有很多空間理財，但是如果收入只是一個剛剛好的狀況，其實是更加需要打點得更好。

But if our house is not that big, metaphorically representing our income, we can imagine a small house. If we take good care of it, it can still lead to a better quality of life. If our income is more abundant, of course, there will be more room for financial management. However, if our income is just enough, it becomes even more important to manage it well.

與小朋友建立依附關係重要嗎？
Is it important to establish a secure attachment with children?

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 12/12/2023

資料來源：精神科專科梁婉珊醫生

每次送小朋友上學，小朋友都哭個不停，與媽媽難捨難離，這可能是缺乏安全感的警號。很多研究指出，安全的依附關係（secure attachment ）是小朋友長大的成功基礎。家長可以如何與小朋友建立安全的依附關係呢？

其實一段安全的依附關係（secure attachment ）是需要刻意經營，需要媽媽很多的努力，要投放很多心機心力。小朋友對世界的信任，是否有自信，也跟與媽媽有沒有安全的依附關係息息相關。

當小朋友沒有安全感，最常見是難以與媽媽分離。一般小朋友與媽媽分開時，會哭鬧一下，只要安撫一下便會冷靜下來。但安全感建立不穩的小朋友，會出現嚴重哭鬧情況，很快便會有脾氣，這便是一個警號，家長便要努力建立安全感。

Source: Specialist in psychiatry, Dr. Leung Yuen Shan

Every time the child is sent to school, they cry non-stop and have a difficult time separating from their mother. This may be a sign of a lack of security. Many studies have shown that a secure attachment is a foundation for a child’s success in life. How can parents establish a secure attachment with their children?

In fact, a secure attachment requires deliberate effort and a lot of hard work from the mother. A child’s trust in the world and their own confidence are closely related to their secure attachment to their mother.

When a child doesn’t feel safe, they usually have trouble being apart from their mother. Usually, when a child is separated from their mother, they may cry and fuss a bit but can be easily calmed down. However, a child with an unstable sense of security may become very upset and throw tantrums quickly. This is a sign that parents need to work on establishing a sense of security.

如何建立安全感？首先媽媽要照顧好自己，媽媽的精神健康是所有事情的基礎。媽媽照顧不好自己，也無力照顧孩子。如果發現自己的情緒真係出現了問題，情緒波幅大、易怒、易哭、失眠或無法進食，為孩子將來著想，便要盡快處理。

小朋友在一直成長中都會持續建立對世界和人的安全感和信任。父母在孩子的童年階段持續給予回應和關注，多與小朋友建立親子時間，透過不同的活動增加親子親密的交流，都是讓他對世界更有信心和安全感的方法。

So, how can parents establish a sense of security? First of all, the mother must take care of herself. The mother’s mental health is the foundation of everything. If the mother is not taking good care of herself, she will not be able to take care of her child. If she finds that she has a real emotional problem, such as high mood swings, irritability, crying, insomnia, or the inability to eat, she should deal with it as soon as possible for the sake of the child’s future.

Children are constantly building a sense of security and trust in the world and people as they grow. Parents can continue to respond to and pay attention to their children during their childhood and establish more parent-child time through different activities to increase intimate communication. All of these efforts can help the child build confidence and a sense of security in the world.

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如何處理小朋友脊骨側彎？
How do you deal with a child’s scoliosis

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 12/12/2023

資料來源：脊骨神經科醫生溫文灝

現在很多小朋友都有脊骨問題，包括寒背和脊骨側彎。假若不及時處理，長大可能會出現腰痛、頸痛及坐骨神經痛等。

在香港每10個小朋友，就有3個患有脊骨側彎。這問題也會在發育期中變得愈來愈差，脊骨側彎的成因包括有先天性脊骨側彎、後天性脊骨側彎，也可能是肌肉的不平衡，甚至是一些姿勢不良，導致這個問題出現。

有些小朋友在檢查的時候，都會發現他們有長短腳、盤骨錯位，甚至是脊骨或肋骨側在一邊。脊醫會為患者做物理治療，甚至進行整脊治療，以幫助這些小朋友改善脊骨的彎度。

Written by: Dr. Tik Chi-yuen, Director of the Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

In a study conducted earlier, it was found that nearly sixty percent of children felt that their parents did not communicate with them using the language of love, and nearly half of the parents tended to use authoritarian and indifferent approaches when disciplining their children. In fact, the mode of parent-child communication is crucial for establishing a strong parent-child relationship. In this article, I would like to share the results and recommendations related to this survey.

According to research in well-known psychology studies in the United States, parents’ disciplinary styles can be categorized into the enlightened type, which utilizes the “language of love,” and the authoritarian, permissive, and indifferent types, which fall under the category of “non-loving languages.” Based on the responses from children, only forty percent of parents were considered as the enlightened type in the eyes of their children, while one percent fell into the permissive type. The remaining nearly half of the parents were classified as either authoritarian or indifferent types, with the proportions being twenty-seven percent and twenty-two percent, respectively.

調查又發現，父母及子女在三類處境中，理想與現實都出現很大的矛盾，這情況在學業表現處境中顯得尤其嚴重。子女期望父母在學業表現處境屬開明型的有六成二，但現實僅有三成七。同樣地，父母的理想和現實也顯示出重大差距，只有百份之四的父母認為自己在學業表現處境中與子女的相處是專制的，但實際有三成一家長也屬於「專制型」。這反映了父母在處理子女「學業表現」方面時面對很大的困難，不知不覺間就採用了「非愛的語言」。現今有不少父母都過度介入子女的學習，不惜花費大量金錢和時間，安排子女參加極多學習活動及坊間不同的補習班，務求令子女在學習上可以走在最前線，因此造成很多親子衝突，甚至令情緒受困擾。

我們做父母的，應培養使用「愛的語言」的習慣，因為愈懂得運用稱讚、鼓勵、關愛、接納、欣賞和肯定等正面言詞，子女就愈能明白父母的管教中兼有關愛和規範，從而成長為一個有自尊和自信的人。筆者相信大部分父母對子女的說話，出發點都是為子女好，但不適當的說話，不單會傷害親子關係，更可能令孩子變得反叛。相反，適當的說話，卻能令孩子樂意接受及盡力做好。

建議父母與子女溝通時要：

說親切、讚美和鼓勵的話
給予正面的引導
孩子做得好時要稱讚他
留意孩子的回應是基於自己的回應
即使要說不，也應避免負面的說法

The survey also revealed significant discrepancies between parents and children’s ideals and realities in three different situations, with academic performance being particularly severe. Sixty-two percent of children expected their parents to adopt an enlightened approach in handling academic performance, but in reality, only thirty-seven percent of parents fell into this category. Similarly, there was a significant gap between parents’ ideals and realities. Only four percent of parents believed that they had an authoritarian relationship with their children in terms of academic performance, but in reality, thirty-one percent of parents were categorized as “authoritarian.” This reflects the difficulties parents face when dealing with their children’s academic performance and how they unconsciously resort to “non-loving languages.” Nowadays, many parents excessively intervene in their children’s studies, sparing no expense in arranging numerous learning activities and various tuition classes, aiming to keep their children at the forefront of learning. This has led to numerous conflicts between parents and children and even emotional distress.

As parents, we should cultivate the habit of using the “language of love” because the more we utilize positive words such as praise, encouragement, care, acceptance, appreciation, and affirmation, the more our children will understand that our discipline includes both love and boundaries, helping them grow into individuals with self-esteem and confidence. The author believes that most parents’ intentions behind their words to their children are for their children’s good. However, inappropriate words cannot only harm the parent-child relationship but also lead children to rebel. On the other hand, appropriate words can make children willingly accept and do their best.

When communicating with their children, parents are advised to:

✧ Use kind, praising, and encouraging words.

✧ Provide positive guidance.

✧ Praise the child when they do well.

✧ Pay attention to the child’s responses and consider their own reactions.

✧ Even when saying “no,” avoid using negative language.

有機食物一定有營養嗎？
Does organic food always have nutrition?

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 09/09/2023

撰寫：註冊營養學家 ( 公共衛生 ) (英國)吳珮瑜

很多家庭都會選擇食用有機食品，如水果、蔬菜、雞蛋等，當被問及選購有機食品的原因時，大部分人都會回答：「因為有機食物較安全，又有營養。」今期筆者就教大家甚麼是有機種植。

什麼是有機種植？

有機種植是指以農業、生物或機械方法，代替人工合成的物質以進行農耕活動。不採用化學肥料、不用殺蟲劑或基因改造作物，善用當地的天然資源，順應自然生態的規律，當中顧及的範圍甚廣，例如：農場的有機生產區與非有機範圍之間，必須設有相距不少於 2 米的緩衝區，以防止作物受污染。

Written by: Registered Nutritionist (Public Health) (UK), Ng Pui Yu

Many families choose to consume organic foods such as fruits, vegetables, and eggs. When asked about the reasons for purchasing organic food, most people respond with, “Because organic food is safer and more nutritious.” In this issue, the author will educate everyone about what organic farming is.

What is organic farming?

Organic farming refers to agricultural practices that replace synthetic substances with methods involving agriculture, biology, or machinery. It avoids using chemical fertilizers, pesticides, or genetically modified crops and instead relies on local natural resources while adhering to the laws of natural ecology. The scope of considerations is broad, for example: an organic production area on a farm must be at least 2 meters away from non-organic areas to prevent crop contamination.

作物及品種的選擇及多樣性

用於有機耕種的種子或營養繁殖器官都應經有機認證
農場必須實行輪作及間作，並應盡量多樣化，避免單一種植

養分的管理

須適量施肥，以防養分過剩，亦避免污染環境
農場內使用的肥料，其來源、質素、施用量及施用方法應對生態環境無害
應透過休耕，讓土地恢復肥力
禁止使用化學合成的肥料、人類排泄物、污水廠污泥和化學廢料

Crop and Variety Selection and Diversity:

Seeds or propagating material used for organic cultivation should be certified as organic.
Farms must practice crop rotation and intercropping while striving for diversification to avoid monoculture.

Nutrient Management:

Fertilization should be applied appropriately to prevent nutrient excess and environmental pollution.
The sources, quality, quantity, and application methods of fertilizers used on the farm should be ecologically benign.
Soil fertility should be restored through fallow periods.
The use of chemically synthesized fertilizers, human excreta, sewage sludge, and chemical waste is prohibited.

病蟲草害及作物生長的管理

採取合適的施肥及灌溉管理
使用物理方法，包括人手、圍欄、光、聲頻、熱力等
種植具防治蟲害作用（包括驅蟲及吸引天敵）的植物
禁止使用化學合成的除草劑、殺菌劑、殺蟲劑及其他農藥

由此可見，有機種植是指種植過程中較注重生態保護，但於營養價值而言，有機食物與非有機食物的分別其實不大，更未有證據顯示進食有機食物的小朋友會更健康或更聰明。當然，由於有機食物較環保和少用化學農藥，筆者亦鼓勵大家多選購！

常規種植 vs 有機種植

	常規種植	有機種植
安全	較常用化學農藥、肥料	化學農藥少注重生態環境使用非基因改造物資
營養	沒有大分別
健康	同樣需要注意低脂、低糖、低鹽的健康飲食原則

Management of Pests, Diseases, Weed, and Crop Growth:

Implement appropriate fertilization and irrigation management.
Utilize physical methods, including manual techniques, fencing, light, sound frequency, heat, etc.
Plant crops that have pest control properties (including pest repellent and attracting natural enemies).
Prohibit the use of chemically synthesized herbicides, fungicides, insecticides, and other pesticides.

From this perspective, organic farming emphasizes ecological conservation in the cultivation process. However, when it comes to nutritional value, there isn’t a significant difference between organic and non-organic foods. Furthermore, there is no evidence to suggest that children who consume organic foods are healthier or more intelligent. Of course, due to the environmental friendliness and reduced use of chemical pesticides in organic farming, I also encourage everyone to make more organic choices!

Conventional Farming vs. Organic Farming

	Conventional Farming	Organic Farming
Safety	More commonly uses chemical pesticides and fertilizers	l Fewer chemical pesticide l Emphasizes ecological environment l Uses non-genetically modified materials
Nutrition	No significant difference
Health	Also need to pay attention to the principles of a healthy diet: low fat, low sugar, and low salt.

家居安全要留神以免意外生
Be cautious about home safety to prevent accidents from happening

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 08/09/2023

資料來源：急症室專科醫生張喜樂

家居暗藏危機，只要一次不小心，小朋友就很容易受傷。家居設置有甚麼要注意，以防小朋友受傷？

一般比較常見的家居意外就是小朋友夾到手指，可能有時候因大風，吹至門關或是有人開門的時候，也會夾到手指的。所以我不論出入也好，都要先鎖門，至少將鑰匙放高一點。家長或者可以用一些膠狀的東西卡著門關，就算真的關門時他都不會夾到手指，或者用門栓來減少夾到手指的風險。

在廚房方面，最好就加上一道廚房門閘或是廚房門也要關好，讓小朋友不能進入廚房。家長也要從小就教導小朋友用火方面的知識，火是一件很危險的事，很有用也很危險，故要很小心地處理火。

Source: Emergency Room Specialist Dr. Cheung Hei Lok

There are hidden dangers in the home, and children can easily get injured with just one careless moment. What should be taken into consideration when arranging the home to prevent children from getting injured?

One common household accident is children getting their fingers caught. Sometimes, due to strong winds, doors may slam shut or someone may accidentally close the door, resulting in finger injuries. Therefore, it is important to always lock the door when entering or leaving, or at least keep the keys out of reach. Parents can also use adhesive materials to secure the door latch so that even if it closes, fingers won’t get caught, or use door stoppers to reduce the risk of finger injuries.

In the kitchen, it is advisable to install a kitchen gate or ensure that the kitchen door is securely closed, preventing children from entering the kitchen. Parents should also teach children about fire safety from a young age. Fire is both useful and dangerous, so it should be handled with great care.

另外，藥物亦是危險的一環。有時小朋友吃一顆已經很危險，所以藥物真是要妥善放置，特別要放置在藥櫃內。藥盒也要放到較高的位置，小朋友接觸不到的地方，這樣就會更安全。

我們也要小心小朋友喜歡爬來爬去，例如爬雙層床、較高的床及沙發等，有時他們可能會跌倒。除了我們要教育他外，我們也可以去想清楚哪些是高危位置，我們就在那些位置加些軟墊，跌倒也不會那麼傷。當然教育都是最重要的，或是不要讓他們有機會，接觸這些危險的地方。

In addition, medications can also pose a danger. Sometimes, even consuming a single pill can be risky for children, so medications should be stored properly, especially in a medicine cabinet. Medicine boxes should be placed in higher positions that are out of reach of children, ensuring greater safety.

We should also be cautious about children climbing on things, such as bunk beds, higher beds, and sofas, as they may fall. In addition to educating them, we can assess which areas pose a higher risk and place some cushioning there, so that even if they fall, it won’t be as severe. Of course, education is always the most important aspect, and we should also try to prevent them from accessing these dangerous areas.

香港單位狹小，我們也喜歡利用高櫃去放置很多物件。當東西過多時，可能使櫃倒下，所以我們自己也要去檢查，這個櫃是否容易搖動。如果要放東西，要放置得上輕下重，這樣櫃就不容易倒下。

家居安全另一重要的是窗要裝上窗花，因為小朋友會爬窗，那個危險性相比一般家居安全問題更加大，因為會直接牽涉到生命危險。

In Hong Kong, living spaces are often small, and we tend to use tall cabinets to store many items. When there are too many things, it can increase the risk of the cabinet toppling over. Therefore, we should personally check whether the cabinet is easily swayed. When placing items, it is important to put heavier items at the bottom and lighter items on top, so that the cabinet is less likely to tip over.

Another important aspect of home safety is to install window grilles. Children may climb on windows, which poses a greater risk compared to general home safety issues, as it directly involves the risk of life-threatening situations.

如何培養孩子的禮貌？尊重與關注不可缺
How to cultivate a child’s manners? Respect and attention are essential

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 08/09/2023

撰文：教育專家張偉菁校長

在一個大型跨國公司的人才招聘會上，小張和小蔡都成功通過初試和複試，他倆是從 100 多名的競爭對手中脫穎而出的。無論筆試還是談吐，雙方都不相上下，人事部的選拔「考官」左右為難，因為公司只會招聘其中一人。

最後，公司經理決定親自對兩個人進行一次面試，令人意想不到的是，只花了幾分鐘的時間，經理就決定了錄用小張。當被問及原因時，經理很坦率地說：「理由很簡單，當我在和他們說話時，小張一直注視著我的眼睛，而小蔡卻左顧右盼，可見他並不善於傾聽別人談話。而善於傾聽和尊重客戶是一個銷售主管應具備的首要條件。」

用眼睛表示出誠意與尊重

這個事例說明的道理很簡單，眼睛是心靈的窗戶，人們藉目光表達豐富的感情，像是尊重、關注、蔑視和不以為然等等。所以與別人面談時，時時注視對方的眼睛會表示出你的誠意。同時，懂得目不轉睛地關注別人談話的人，也必會受到別人的感激與尊重。

學校經常舉辦以「禮貌」為主題的活動，目的是喚起同學們對別人的禮貌。「別人」除指家人、長輩、老師和同學等認識的人之外，也應包括不認識的人。孩子們早應知道「早晨」和「謝謝」等禮貌用語，但有很多孩子還是不會主動向人打招呼，更何況是其他日常生活上的禮儀呢？學校針對的當然是一個學生在校與師長和同學相處時的禮貌，其他的就有賴家庭教育了。

Written by: Education expert, Principal Cheung Wai jing

At a talent recruitment event for a large multinational company, both Siu Cheung and Siu Choi successfully passed the initial and follow-up interviews. They stood out from over 100 competitors. Whether it was written tests or communication skills, both were equally impressive, leaving the human resources department’s evaluators in a dilemma, as the company would only hire one person.

In the end, the company manager decided to personally interview both candidates. Surprisingly, after just a few minutes, the manager chose to hire Siu Cheung. When asked for the reason, the manager candidly stated, “The reason is simple. When I was speaking to them, Siu Cheung maintained eye contact with me the whole time, while Siu Choi was looking around, indicating that he wasn’t good at actively listening to others. Being adept at listening and respecting clients is a crucial requirement for a sales supervisor.”

Expressing Sincerity and Respect through Eye Contact

This example illustrates a straightforward lesson: eyes are the windows to the soul, and people use their gaze to convey a range of emotions such as respect, attention, disdain, and indifference. Therefore, maintaining consistent eye contact during conversations signifies your sincerity. Moreover, those who can attentively focus on others’ words without shifting their gaze will naturally earn gratitude and respect from others.

Schools often organize activities centered around the theme of “politeness” to encourage students to be courteous to others. “Others” includes not only family members, elders, teachers, and fellow students but also unfamiliar people. Children should learn early on about polite phrases like “good morning” and “thank you,” but many still don’t proactively greet others, let alone observe other daily life etiquette. Schools focus on teaching students how to behave politely when interacting with teachers and peers in the school setting; the rest relies on family education.

上文所提「見工」的例子，小學生當然暫不適用，但他們亦經常有面試的機會。如果要予人一個好的印象，孩子必須學習用眼神展現出他對別人談話的關注與尊重。所以父母要教導孩子傾聽的技巧與藝術，當然父母在聆聽孩子的說話時，更加要給予他們適當的尊重與關注，這樣孩子便學懂與人相處的禮貌是無分年齡與身分的。以下是三個聆聽小錦囊：

1. 聆聽別人說話時，不要左顧右盼，要看著對方的眼睛

2. 當聽明白或與對方有同感時，要用眼睛與人交流，表示贊同

3. 注視對方不代表要目不轉睛地「死盯」著對方，這樣做反而會顯得不太禮貌

小說經常用「有一雙會說話的眼睛」來形容筆下人物的聰慧可人，其實人人都有這樣的一雙眼，只要善加利用，它會比我們嘴裡吐出的說話更有說服力。

The example of “job hunting” mentioned above might not be applicable to elementary school students for the time being, but they also frequently have opportunities for interviews. If they want to leave a good impression on others, children must learn to use their eyes to show their attention and respect when conversing with others. Therefore, parents need to teach children the skills and art of listening. Of course, when parents listen to their children, they should also give them appropriate respect and attention. This way, children will learn that politeness in interpersonal interactions knows no age or status boundaries. Here are three listening tips:

1. When listening to someone, avoid looking around and instead focus on the person’s eyes.

2. When you understand or share the same sentiment, use your eyes to communicate and show agreement.

3. Gazing at someone doesn’t mean staring fixedly at them; doing so can actually come across as impolite.

In literature, characters are often described as having “eyes that speak.” In reality, everyone has eyes like that; as long as we utilize them well, they can be more persuasive than the words we speak.

父母要學習「愛的語言」
Parents need to learn the language of love

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 08/09/2023

撰文：香港家庭教育學院總監狄志遠博士

早年有機構調查發現，近六成子女認為家長沒有用愛的語言與他們溝通，更有近半數父母會在管教子女時，傾向了專制和冷漠模式。其實，親子溝通的模式對建立親子關係甚為重要，筆者今次希望與大家分享一下有關的調查結果及建議。

調查結果根據美國著名心理學研究，把父母的管教模式歸類為懂得運用「愛的語言」的開明型，以及屬於「非愛的語言」的專制型、放任型及冷漠型。據子女的現實回應顯示，在孩子心目中只有四成一的家長屬於開明型，一成家長屬於放任型，餘下近半家長都屬於專制或冷漠型，而當中專制或冷漠型父母的比例分別為兩成七和兩成二。

Written by: Dr. Tik Chi-yuen, Director of the Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

建議父母與子女溝通時要：

說親切、讚美和鼓勵的話
給予正面的引導
孩子做得好時要稱讚他
留意孩子的回應是基於自己的回應
即使要說不，也應避免負面的說法

When communicating with their children, parents are advised to:

✧ Use kind, praising, and encouraging words.

✧ Provide positive guidance.

✧ Praise the child when they do well.

✧ Pay attention to the child’s responses and consider their own reactions.

✧ Even when saying “no,” avoid using negative language.

避免孩子犯錯不如立界線
Setting boundaries is better than trying to prevent children from making mistakes

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 08/09/2023

撰文：GLP 全力愛創辦人兼義務總幹事林何佩儀

吹毛求疵，是父母管教子女最容易犯的錯誤；「愛之深、責之切」，是一般父母的心情。父母常恐懼孩子在成長過程中，學壞了任何的不良行為，會貽害終生。因此，父母在管教子女時，常常以無微不至的批評來提醒孩子。其實，孩子犯錯是成長的必經之路，孩子在成長過程中不斷改變，父母必須因應他們的成長需要來處理他們的行為，甚至改變與他的相處方式。

例如孩子未能依時完成功課時，父母應平靜對待這件平常不過的事，因為這正是讓孩子進步和成長的機會。又例如孩子駁嘴，可能顯示他們開始學習獨立思考，並不一定是對父母不尊重，只是當孩子日漸長大，自我主張開始出現，有自己的思想和看法，對現實生活中的各項事情有自己的立場，同時渴望得到父母能認同。作為父母，當然不贊同這些行為，但即使不贊同，也可以了解孩子背後的需要，這樣我們便能更有效地和他們溝通及運用恰當的管教方法。

「知識雖能改變命運，態度卻取決一切！」父母大發雷霆橫加指責，對管教從不湊效，毫無意義。當父母懂得溫柔而堅定地幫助孩子，將尊重帶進日常生活中，孩子便會更了解事情的規則和界線，這樣他們以後就會更有分寸，也會為自己的行為建立一把尺。有了這把尺，他們自然會成為自理自主和負責任的人。所以，家長應在孩子的幼兒階段時，便在他們日常生活中定立界線。

Written by: Peggy Ho Pui Yee, Founder and Volunteer Executive Director of Good Love Passion

Being overly critical is the most common mistake parents make in disciplining their children. The phrase “love deeply, scold severely” reflects the emotions of most parents. Parents often fear that their children will develop any undesirable behavior during their growth, which may have lifelong consequences. Therefore, when disciplining their children, parents often resort to meticulous criticism as a way to remind them. In reality, making mistakes is an essential part of a child’s growth process. As children constantly change and grow, parents need to adapt to their developmental needs and adjust their approach to dealing with their behavior, even changing the way they interact with them.

For example, when a child fails to complete their homework on time, parents should calmly handle this common occurrence, as it is an opportunity for the child to improve and grow. Similarly, when a child talks back, it may indicate their emerging independence and critical thinking skills. It doesn’t necessarily mean they lack respect for their parents. As children grow older, they develop their own thoughts, opinions, and perspectives on various aspects of life. They also desire parental acknowledgment. As parents, we may not agree with these behaviors, but even in disagreement, we can understand the underlying needs of our children. This allows us to communicate more effectively with them and utilize appropriate disciplinary methods.

“While knowledge can change destiny, attitude determines everything!” Explosive anger and harsh accusations from parents are ineffective in discipline and serve no purpose. When parents understand how to gently and firmly assist their children and incorporate respect into daily life, children will develop a better understanding of rules and boundaries. Consequently, they will exercise more self-control and establish their own standards for behavior. With these standards in place, they will naturally become more independent, responsible individuals. Therefore, parents should establish boundaries in their children’s daily lives during their early childhood stages.

筆者的女兒自 1 歲半開始，已經明白字是寫在紙上的道理，所以當她 3 歲時，也從不在家中雪白的牆上貼過一張貼紙。因為她清楚知道自己和我的界線，也了解一個自理的孩子應當保持家居的整潔，這也是她的責任。父母讓孩子有遵循的方針，之後才去談他們是否聽話。

對年齡較小的孩子，立界線時要具體清楚說明，例如你跟幼兒說：「若果你做不到，就表示你不乖。」其實對於幼兒來說，「不乖」是模糊的字眼，他們難以捉摸。此外，立界線時必須訂出若未執行的後果，筆者需要強調是「後果」，並非「懲罰」。後果只是結果，從雙方的協議中定立，所以它們是在自然法則下自然運作的結果，和懲罰完全是兩回事。例如當玩耍完畢後，孩子要自行收拾玩具，收拾好下次可以再玩；但如果沒有收拾，按照之前大家的協議，玩具就會被沒收兩天或三天。

這時候父母必須清楚讓孩子明白，這就是他沒有履行協議的自然後果，並不是懲罰。又例如父母可以和孩子商討看電視和使用電子產品的時間，並訂下時限。同樣地，如果孩子過了限定時間還不關機，按照之前大家的協議，往後三天都不可以再看或使用。家長立界線時要注意合理性，否則就是入孩子於罪，孩子容易觸犯到界線，將來不聽話的可能性反而更大。

Since the age of one and a half, my daughter understood that writing is done on paper. Therefore, even at the age of 3, she has never stuck a sticker on the pristine walls of our home. She knows her boundaries and understands that a responsible child should keep the house clean. It is her responsibility. Parents establish guidelines for children to follow before discussing whether they are obedient or not.

When setting boundaries for younger children, it is important to be clear and specific. For example, you can say to a toddler, “If you can’t do it, it means you’re not behaving.” However, for young children, the term “not behaving” is vague and difficult for them to grasp. In addition, when setting boundaries, it is necessary to establish the consequences of not complying. It is important to emphasize that these consequences are “results” and not “punishments.” Consequences are simply the natural outcome of an agreement between both parties, operating under natural laws, and they are distinct from punishments. For example, after playing, if a child is expected to clean up their toys, they can continue playing next time only if they tidy up. However, if they don’t clean up, according to the previous agreement, their toys will be confiscated for two or three days.

At this point, parents must make it clear to the child that this is the natural consequence of not fulfilling the agreement, not a punishment. Another example is when parents discuss with their child the time limit for watching TV or using electronic devices and set specific time boundaries. Similarly, if the child exceeds the designated time and doesn’t turn off the device, according to the previous agreement, they won’t be allowed to watch or use it for the next three days. When setting boundaries, parents need to ensure they are reasonable. Otherwise, it would be unfair to the child, making them more likely to cross the boundaries and become disobedient in the future.

雖然父母有責任教導孩子正當的行為，但若方法過於急切與嚴厲，對孩子成長過程缺乏認識與理解，反而可能導致負面作用。所以我們要讓孩子有主動改過的經驗，要嚴肅討論，並非嚴厲懲罰。心平氣和能協助孩子將錯誤轉化為成長的養分，就像孩子學走路的過程中難免跌倒，我們會鼓勵孩子自己慢慢爬起來，再跨出步伐。

面對孩子犯錯的行為，該如何處理才能培養孩子改過的能力，是我們更該關注的。一般人很少故意會去犯錯，人之所以會「犯錯」，通常都是因為沒有「覺知」，會錯就是因為不知道。其實，孩子犯錯並不可怕，可怕的是犯錯卻不明白錯在那裡，不知怎樣才能改好。父母如果能以正確的心態面對孩子犯錯，以適切的方法引導孩子改正，犯錯也能成為檢討和進步的轉機，增進親子間溝通的機會，讓孩子的錯成為一種美麗的錯誤吧。

While parents have the responsibility to teach children proper behavior, if the methods used are too impatient and harsh, lacking an understanding of the child’s growth process, it may lead to negative effects. Therefore, we should provide children with experiences of taking initiative to change for the better, engage in serious discussions, rather than resorting to severe punishments. Approaching the situation with a calm and composed demeanor can assist children in transforming their mistakes into opportunities for growth. Just like how children inevitably fall while learning to walk, we encourage them to pick themselves up and take another step forward.

When faced with a child’s misconduct, it is important to consider how to handle the situation in a way that fosters their ability to change. People generally do not intentionally make mistakes; the reason for making mistakes is often due to a lack of awareness. Making mistakes is not inherently frightening for children; what is truly concerning is making mistakes without understanding where they went wrong or how to correct them. If parents can approach their child’s mistakes with the right mindset and guide them towards making corrections using appropriate methods, these mistakes can become opportunities for reflection and progress. It also enhances the chance for communication between parents and children. Let us transform our children’s mistakes into beautiful errors.

小朋友好害羞如何增強他們自信？
How to enhance the confidence of shy children?

文章作者作者: system
文章發佈日期 07/09/2023

資料來源：家庭婚姻治療師/藝術治療師高詠愛

現實中不少家長都覺得自己小朋友害羞，希望增強他們的自信心，讓他們多點信心跟別人說話。這其實要看小朋友本身的性格是怎樣，因為有時小朋友會比較慢熱，可能有些小朋友比較怕跟陌生人說話。小朋友較害羞可能跟他們的成長過程有關。

現在很多家長因為工作關係，甚少帶小朋友外出和其他小朋友一起玩和交流。這會慢慢會形成他只喜歡和年紀大過他的家人或兄姐溝通，當遇到同年紀較小的朋友時，他就不懂得怎樣一起玩。加上現時許多家長都會幫他們說話，例如他還不懂得表達自己的時候，家長有時可能比較心急：「你是不是想要那個東西？你是不是想這樣那樣。」這令小朋友很多時候他不敢說出心聲。

家長令孩子不懂得怎樣表達自己，或依賴了家長幫他們說話。其實透過很多方式，例如在家裡互動或玩遊戲，都可以幫助小朋友在不同環境跟其他小朋友或長輩溝通。例如透過簡單圖片的桌上遊戲，家長可以問小朋友：「如果我們在球場上遇到其他小朋友一起玩時，可以怎樣呢？如果你想一起玩，你可以怎樣做？」家人也可以跟小朋友進行角色扮演。

Source: Family Marriage Therapist/Art Therapist, Ko Wing Oi

In reality, many parents feel that their children are shy and want to enhance their self-confidence so that they can have more confidence in talking to others. This actually depends on the child’s personality because sometimes children may be slower to warm up or feel more fearful about speaking to strangers. A child’s shyness may be related to their upbringing and experiences during their growth process.

In today’s busy world, many parents have limited opportunities to take their children out to play and interact with other children due to work commitments. This can gradually result in children only feeling comfortable communicating with older family members or siblings. When they encounter peers of the same age, they may not know how to play together. Additionally, many parents tend to speak on behalf of their children, especially when they are unable to express themselves. Sometimes parents may feel impatient and quickly guess what the child wants, saying things like, “Do you want this? Do you want that?” This often makes the child hesitant to express their true thoughts and feelings.

Parents unintentionally prevent their children from learning how to express themselves or become dependent on their parents to speak for them. However, there are various ways to help children communicate with other children or adults in different environments. For example, through interactive activities or games at home, parents can ask the child questions like, “If we meet other children to play at the playground, what can you do to join them?” Role-playing with family members can also be beneficial in helping children gain confidence in social interactions.

小朋友最主要從環境中學習，從他們的父母、兄弟姐妹、學校、朋友身上，甚至現在很多時會上網看新聞、電視或卡通片，學習一些行為或說話內容。所以在家裡玩遊戲時，都可以做一個好榜樣告訴他們應該怎樣溝通、怎樣去說或怎樣表達自己是最好的。

有時要給小朋友時間去思考如何表達自己，而不是搶著替他們說話或幫他們完成。就算他錯了，也不要說：「不是這樣的！」因為這樣會嚇到小朋友，最好是跟他分析整件事情，應該如何做才是正確的。家長應嘗試跟小朋友分析多點：「為甚麼不可以這麼說？因為這樣說話可能會傷害了其他小朋友。如果你這樣跟他說話時，你自己的感覺又會是如何？」當教懂他們一些溝通方法，亦可以幫助他們見到陌生人和在不同環境時去與人溝通。

Children primarily learn from their environment, including their parents, siblings, school, friends, and even through sources like online news, television, or cartoons, where they learn behaviors and speech patterns. Therefore, when playing games at home, it’s important to set a good example and show them how to communicate, speak, and express themselves effectively.

Sometimes, it’s necessary to give children time to think about how to express themselves instead of rushing to speak for them or completing their sentences. Even if they make a mistake, it’s important not to say, “That’s not how you do it!” as it can scare the child. It’s better to analyze the situation together and discuss how it could have been done correctly. Parents should try to engage in more analysis with the child, asking questions like, “Why is it not okay to say it that way? Because speaking like that might hurt other children. How would you feel if someone spoke to you in that manner?” Teaching them different communication methods can help them interact with strangers and communicate effectively in different environments.