分類: 家長園地

我的小朋友每日有吃蔬果，但排便仍然很辛苦，怎麼辦？
My child eats fruits and vegetables every day but still struggles with bowel movements. What should I do?

撰文：註冊公共衛生營養學家（英國）營養師 吳珮瑜

 

相信很多父母都曾遇到小朋友排便困難的問題。當此問題出現時，父母通常會增加小朋友飲食中的纖維量，而效果就因人而異，當中要留意甚麼呢？

 

何謂適量纖維？

很多人都知道，多吃含高纖維素的食物如全穀類、堅果、豆類、水果（如西梅、無花果、奇異果、香蕉、蘋果、梨等）及瓜菜（如茄子、燈籠椒、金針菜、莧菜、西蘭花、椰菜、芥菜、菠菜、芥蘭、雪耳、菇類等）都可刺激腸道蠕動。原來纖維素吸收水分後，會像海綿般變軟發大，刺激便意。足夠的纖維素亦有助促進腸道益菌的生長，可改善便秘。值得注意的是，要增加飲食中的纖維含量，要循序漸進，每隔數天慢慢增加，否則身體未能適應，反而會令大便更乾硬。

 

兒童每天所需的膳食纖維量，是他的年齡加 5 克。例如：一位 4 歲的兒童，每天膳食纖維攝取量為 4+5=9 克左右。要攝取足夠的纖維素，2 至 5 歲的小朋友每天需要最少 1.5 份蔬菜類（1 份 ＝ 1/2 碗熟菜）及最少 1 份水果類 （1 份 = 1 個中型水果，如橙或蘋果）。

Written by: Registered Public Health Nutritionist (UK) and Nutritionist, Ng Pui Yu

 

Many parents have encountered the issue of their children having difficulty with bowel movements. When this problem arises, parents usually increase the fiber content in their children’s diet, but the effectiveness varies from person to person. What should be noted in this process?

 

What is an appropriate amount of fiber?

Many people know that eating foods high in fiber such as whole grains, nuts, beans, fruits (like prunes, figs, kiwis, bananas, apples, pears, etc.) and vegetables (like eggplants, bell peppers, daylilies, amaranth, broccoli, cabbage, mustard greens, spinach, Chinese broccoli, snow fungus, mushrooms, etc.) can stimulate intestinal peristalsis. It turns out that when fiber absorbs water, it becomes soft and expands like a sponge, stimulating the urge to defecate. Sufficient fiber also helps promote the growth of beneficial bacteria in the intestines, which can improve constipation. It is important to note that when increasing dietary fiber, it should be done gradually, increasing slowly every few days, otherwise, if the body cannot adapt, it may make the stool even harder.

The daily dietary fiber requirement for children is their age plus 5 grams. For example, a 4-year-old child should have a daily dietary fiber intake of about 4+5=9 grams. To consume enough fiber, children aged 2 to 5 years old need at least 1.5 servings of vegetables (1 serving = 1/2 bowl of cooked vegetables) and at least 1 serving of fruit (1 serving = 1 medium-sized fruit, such as an orange or apple) per day.

水分真的足夠嗎？

 

經常有父母聲稱，小朋友已經喝很多水，但排便情況仍不理想。細問下，發現原來一天只喝 500 至 600 毫升左右，水分實在不足夠。家長要知道，纖維素與水分是合作伙伴，要有足夠水分讓纖維素吸收，才可漲大變軟，刺激腸道蠕動。若只有足夠纖維素而水分不足，反而會使大便乾硬，更難排便。其實2至5 歲的小朋友每天需要  4 至 5  杯流質飲料，即約 1000 至 1250 毫升，而當中最好至少一半以上是清水。若天氣炎熱或乾燥、出汗多、運動量多、飲食中纖維量增加等則需要飲用更多水分。

 

此外，每天適量運動亦有助刺激腸道蠕動，幫助排便；，而養成定時如厠的習慣亦有助可改善便秘。

Is the water intake really sufficient?

Often, parents claim that their child drinks a lot of water, but the bowel movements are still not ideal. Upon further inquiry, it turns out that they only drink about 500 to 600 milliliters a day, which is not enough. Parents should know that fiber and water are partners; there must be enough water for the fiber to absorb, swell, and soften, which stimulates intestinal peristalsis. If there is sufficient fiber but not enough water, it can make the stool hard and even more difficult to pass. In fact, children aged 2 to 5 years old need 4 to 5 cups of fluid a day, which is about 1000 to 1250 milliliters, and at least half of this should be plain water. If the weather is hot or dry, if there is a lot of sweating, if the child is very active, or if the dietary fiber intake is increased, then more water should be consumed.

Additionally, daily appropriate exercise can also help stimulate intestinal peristalsis and aid in bowel movements; developing a habit of going to the toilet at regular times can also help improve constipation.

食物纖維含量表（資料來源：衛生署）

食物

膳食纖維含量 (克)

五 穀 類

 

白 飯 1 碗

0.8

糙 米 飯 1 碗

4.5

全 麥 麵 包 1 片

3.4

燕 麥 片 (乾) 1/3 碗

2.7

 

 

水 果 ／ 果 乾 類

 

蘋 果 ， 連 皮 ， 1 個 ( 中 型 )

4.4

橙 1 個 ( 中 型 )

3.1

香 蕉 ( 1隻 )

3.1

西 梅 乾 ， 去 核，3 粒

2.0

提 子 乾 ， 去 籽 ， 小 盒

1.5

杏 脯 乾 ， 去 核 ， 5個

2.6

 

 

蔬 菜 類

 

西 蘭 花 ， 熟 ， 1/2 碗

2.6

芥 蘭 ， 熟 ， 1/2 碗

1.3

生 菜 ， 生 ， 1 碗

0.9

番 茄 ， 生，1 個 ( 中 型 )

1.5

粟 米 粒 ， 熟 ， 1/2 碗

2.0

青 豆 ， 熟 ， 1/2 碗

4.4

番 薯 ， 熟 ， 去 皮 1 個 ( 中 型 )

3.8

 

 

乾 豆 類

 

眉 豆 ， 熟 ， 1/2 碗

5.6

黃 豆 ， 熟 ， 1/2 碗

5.2

紅 豆 ， 熟， 1/2 碗

8.4

綠 豆 ， 熟 ， 1/2 碗

7.7

1 碗 = 240 毫 升

 

註：每人的健康情況都有不同，各位宜向營養師查詢有關個別的飲食計劃及注意事項。

Dietary Fiber Content Chart (Source: Department of Health)

Food

Dietary Fiber Content (grams)

Grains

 

White Rice, 1 bowl

0.8

Brown Rice, 1 bowl

4.5

Whole Wheat Bread, 1 slice

3.4

Oatmeal (Dry), 1/3 bowl

2.7

 

 

Fruits / Dried Fruits

 

Apple, with skin, 1 medium

4.4

Orange, 1 medium

3.1

Banana, 1 piece

3.1

Dried Plums, pitted, 3 pieces

2.0

Raisins, seedless, small box

1.5

Dried Apricots, pitted, 5 pieces

2.6

 

 

Vegetables

 

Broccoli, cooked, 1/2 bowl

2.6

Chinese Broccoli, cooked, 1/2 bowl

1.3

Lettuce, raw, 1 bowl

0.9

Tomato, raw, 1 medium

1.5

Corn Kernels, cooked, 1/2 bowl

2.0

Green Peas, cooked, 1/2 bowl

4.4

Sweet Potato, cooked, peeled, 1 medium

3.8

 

 

Legumes

 

Lima Beans, cooked, 1/2 bowl

5.6

Soybeans, cooked, 1/2 bowl

5.2

Red Beans, cooked, 1/2 bowl

8.4

Mung Beans, cooked, 1/2 bowl

7.7

1 bowl = 240 ml


Note: Everyone’s health condition is different, so it is advisable to consult a dietitian for individual dietary plans and precautions.

拖字訣 培育子女耐性
Delaying Tactics for Cultivating Children’s Patience

撰文：新領域潛能發展中心 註冊教育心理學家 彭智華

 

香港是一個物質豐盛的社會，但由於資源過於豐富，當子女在生活上有所需求時，父母就會火速地給予他們充足的供應，讓他們有著持續的滿足。但是，家長太快滿足子女的需要，會對他們有產生不良的影響，未能鍛鍊他們的忍耐的能力，久而久之耐性也會變得有限。

 

活用生活情緒　培育子女耐性

把享樂或生活上的需要推遲，是培養情緒智商(EQ)的重要環節。假如父母習慣很快就滿足子女的需要，但卻埋怨子女的耐性差，其實這種評論對於子女並不公平，因為他們的耐性只是未經培育而已。

 

究竟怎樣才能把子女的需要推遲呢？要訓練子女的情緒智能，秘訣就是「不用反籐條，也不用蝦條」，即既不需要使用體罰，也不常使用獎品，而是透過日常生活中的經歷和體驗去磨練出來，培養出孩子的耐性、等候的能力等等。家長可嘗試參考以下的例子：

 

例一：當父母與子女上茶樓的時候，不需要讓子女喜歡吃甚麼，便立即吃甚麼。父母可要求子女吃完一籠點心時，再等 5 分鐘後才吃第二種點心；又或者是每次當子女想吃一籠點心前，要先等父母吃了一部分才可以吃。如是者，父母與子女輪流吃點心。

 

例二：當子女要求父母買玩具時，父母不必即時買給子女，可向他解釋留待幾小時、幾天或一星期後才購買，要求子女耐心等待。

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre

 

Hong Kong is a society abundant in material wealth, but due to the overabundance of resources, when children have needs in life, parents quickly provide them with ample supply, allowing them continuous satisfaction. However, parents satisfying their children’s needs too quickly can have a negative impact on them, failing to cultivate their ability to endure, and over time, their patience may become limited.

 

Utilizing Emotional Intelligence to Cultivate Children’s Patience

Delaying gratification or the fulfillment of life’s needs is an important part of developing emotional intelligence (EQ). If parents are accustomed to quickly satisfying their children’s needs but then complain about their lack of patience, such criticism is unfair to the children, as their patience has simply not been nurtured.

How can one delay the fulfillment of children’s needs? To train children’s emotional intelligence, the secret is “neither using the cane nor the carrot,” meaning that neither corporal punishment nor frequent rewards are necessary. Instead, patience and the ability to wait are cultivated through daily life experiences. Parents can try the following examples:

Example 1: When parents and children go to a dim sum restaurant, there is no need to let the children eat whatever they like immediately. Parents can ask the children to wait for 5 minutes after finishing one basket of dim sum before eating a second type; or they can require the children to wait until the parents have eaten a portion before they can eat. In this way, parents and children take turns eating the dim sum.

Example 2: When children ask their parents to buy toys, parents do not need to purchase them immediately. They can explain to the child to wait a few hours, days, or a week before buying, asking the children to wait patiently.

例三：當子女從街上回到家中時，不要讓他們隨心所欲地立即開電視，必須要求他先把鞋襪放好，喝一杯清水，坐在沙發上等 3 分鐘後，才可以開電視。

 

例四：當子女與父母出門時，不要讓他們立即衝去按升降機的按鈕，父母可要求他等待父母一同出門，一同步行到升降機前，才可按掣。

 

父母要堅持和有信用　鍛鍊子女智能

以上只是一些例子，父母必須好好利用生活細節上的「拖字訣」，使用拖字訣並不代表否定或拒絕子女的需要，而是不即時給予滿足而已。父母要注意的是，當使用這些拖字訣時，必須言出必行，無論子女撒嬌也好、發脾氣也好、哭也好、大叫也好，都要堅持著「拖」的原則；另外，父母也要注意要「有口齒」，答應了子女的事就必須要做。

 

另外，當子女提出要求時，父母可要求子女解釋理由，不但可以訓練子女的情緒智商(EQ)，更可訓練他們的智能(IQ)。只要在子女的生活細節上多下一點功夫，就能夠有效地幫助子女鍛鍊情緒智能，各位父母不妨一試吧！ 

Example 3: When children return home from the street, do not let them turn on the TV immediately as they please. They must be asked to put away their shoes and socks, drink a glass of water, and sit on the sofa for 3 minutes before they can turn on the TV.

Example 4: When children go out with their parents, do not let them rush to press the elevator button immediately. Parents can ask them to wait for the parents to go out together, walk to the elevator together, and then press the button.


Parents Must Be Consistent and Credible to Train Children’s Intelligence

These are just a few examples. Parents must make good use of the “dragging tactic” in life’s details. Using the dragging tactic does not mean denying or refusing the children’s needs, but rather not satisfying them immediately. What parents need to pay attention to is that when using these tactics, they must follow through with what they say. No matter if the children act spoiled, throw a tantrum, cry, or scream, parents must stick to the principle of “dragging”; additionally, parents must also be credible and do what they have promised the children.

Furthermore, when children make requests, parents can ask the children to explain their reasons, which not only trains their emotional intelligence (EQ) but also their intelligence (IQ). By putting a little more effort into the details of children’s lives, parents can effectively help train their children’s emotional intelligence. Parents might as well give it a try!

親子創意藝術創作
Parent-child creative art creation

撰文：Pario Arts 李素貞主任

 

每個人均擁有創意和藝術潛能，假如得到適當培育的話，可提升個人的美善情操，讓生命更臻完美。在藝術氛圍的營造下，藉多樣化活動啟發個人的創造力、美感和多元能力，以促進全人發展。而「愛」是創造的原動力，在自由、民主、安全及和諧的環境和氣氛下，即「愛的表現」，亦是強調互相包容，悅納不同的意見，尊重別人和接納別人。那麼親子創意藝術創作如何可以表現「愛」呢？筆者在此和各位家長分享自己的看法。

 

親子創意藝術創作的意義 

l  藝術教育由個人做起，家長嘗試接觸藝術創作，從而培養孩子的藝術涵養

l  藝術教育的第一課從「聆聽」和「接納」開始，家長學習接納孩子多元創意的表現方式

l  透過親子共同參與和體驗藝術創作的過程，家長能更貼近和了解孩子的心

l  親子藝術創作有助孩子認識自己、釋放情緒與壓力

l  融入互相欣賞和互相尊重的氣氛，減輕親職壓力與焦慮，進而增進親子關係

l  讓親子愛上創作，把藝術融入生活中，提升生活的素質

Written by: Director of Pario Arts, Lee Sou Jing

 

Everyone has creativity and artistic potential. If properly nurtured, it can enhance one’s moral sentiments and make life more perfect. In the artistic atmosphere, diverse activities inspire individuals’ creativity, aesthetic sense, and diverse abilities, promoting holistic development. ‘Love’ is the driving force of creation. In a free, democratic, safe, and harmonious environment and atmosphere, it is the expression of ‘love,’ emphasizing mutual tolerance, acceptance of different opinions, and respect for and acceptance of others. So, how can parent-child creative art creation express ‘love’? Here, the author shares his views with all parents.

 

The significance of parent-child creative art creation: 

l  Art education starts with individuals. Parents try to engage in artistic creation to cultivate their children’s artistic accomplishments.

l  The first lesson of art education begins with ‘listening’ and ‘acceptance.’ Parents learn to accept the diverse ways in which children express their creativity.

l  Through the joint participation and experience of parent-child art creation, parents can get closer to and understand their children’s hearts.

l  Parent-child art creation helps children to understand themselves and release emotions and stress.

l  By integrating an atmosphere of mutual appreciation and respect, it reduces parental stress and anxiety, thereby enhancing parent-child relationships.

l  Making parent-child fall in love with creation, integrating art into life, and enhancing the quality of life.

藝術培育錦囊

l  培養一種做人的學問，提升一種分享的能力，即「同理心」。

l  根據心理學家赫夫曼 (Hoffman) 研究人類同理心 (empathy) 的發展指出，「同理心」就是體會他人的情意，設身處地為他人設想的能力。

l  「同理心」三步曲：(1) 站在對方的立場設想 (2) 辨識對方的真正感受 (3) 將了解和感受傳達給對方。

l  「同理心」是與人相處的一項重要能力，具有「同理心」的人，才能建立良好的人際關係、自律及責任感。

l  兒童在 2 至 3 歲的階段，已能了解別人的感受。為使孩子有愛心、具備「同理心」的人、懂得愛與關懷別人，父母以身作則是非常重要的。

Artistic Cultivation Tips

l  Cultivate a kind of knowledge in being human and enhance the ability to share, that is, ’empathy.’

l  According to the research of psychologist Hoffman on the development of human empathy, ’empathy’ is the ability to understand the feelings of others and to put oneself in their shoes.

l  The three steps of ’empathy’: (1) Imagine standing in the other person’s position (2) Identify the other person’s true feelings (3) Convey understanding and feelings to the other person.

l  Empathy’ is an important ability in interpersonal relationships. Only those with ’empathy’ can establish good interpersonal relationships, self-discipline, and a sense of responsibility.

l  Children at the age of 2 to 3 can already understand the feelings of others. In order for children to be compassionate, possess ’empathy,’ and understand love and care for others, it is very important for parents to lead by example.

孩子有吸吮手指的習慣該怎麼辦？
What should I do if my child has a habit of sucking their fingers?

撰文：幼兒教育專家陳陳淑安老師

 

根據李維大偉 (David Levy) 博士的研究，在 10 分鐘內就把一瓶牛奶吃完的孩子（可能因為瓶頭孔較大），比在 20 分鐘內吃完整瓶奶的孩子，容易有吸吮指頭的行為。李博士又曾試驗用滴筒餵小狗，使牠們在吃奶的時候沒有機會吸吮，結果牠們的反應，是彼此吸吮自己或別的小狗的皮，有些吸吮得十分厲害，連皮都脫掉。由此我們可以知道嬰兒最初數月吸吮指頭的行為，是因為得不到吸吮的滿足所致，是一種需要，並不是與生俱來，也不是壞行為。

 

餵哺母乳 增進親子感情

母親能親自哺乳，嬰兒是最幸福的，因為嬰兒不但得到適當的營養，與母親肌膚接觸得到溫暖安全感，而且由於吸吮著柔軟的乳頭，除了得到溫飽外，還享受著母子心靈上的溝通，這種深厚的愛，骨肉的親情與吃著冷冰冰的奶瓶，是不能相提並論的，何況嬰兒在吸吮得到無上的滿足感。

Written by: Early Childhood Education Specialist, Teacher Chan-Chen Shu-an

 

According to Dr. David Levy’s research, children who finish a bottle of milk within 10 minutes (possibly because the bottle’s nipple hole is larger) are more likely to exhibit finger-sucking behavior than those who finish the entire bottle in 20 minutes. Dr. Levy also conducted an experiment feeding puppies with a dropper, preventing them from sucking while feeding. The result was that they resorted to sucking their own or other puppies’ skin, some so vigorously that the skin peeled off. From this, we can understand that the behavior of infants sucking their fingers in the first few months is due to the lack of satisfaction from sucking, it is a need, not innate, and not a bad behavior.

 

Breastfeeding Fosters Parent-Child Bond

When a mother can breastfeed her baby, the baby is the happiest. This is because the baby not only receives proper nutrition and warmth and security from being in contact with the mother’s skin but also enjoys the soft nipple while sucking, which provides not only sustenance but also a profound love and emotional connection between mother and child. This deep love and family bond cannot be compared to feeding from a cold bottle, especially considering the supreme satisfaction the baby gets from sucking.

但是，母親大多外出工作，加上種種原因，不得不用奶瓶餵孩子時，應特別注意餵奶的次數和所費的時間。母親應平心靜氣地讓孩子慢慢吃，特別注意奶嘴洞眼的大小，孩子得到吸吮的滿足，才不致容易發生吸吮手指的習慣，嬰兒喜歡吮手指起自無意識的，他的小指在挪動著，無意地放進嘴裡，感到愉快滿足而吸吮起來。

 

發洩心理緊張

可是到了4、5 歲時仍不斷吸吮指頭，那意義就不同了，這可能是一種心理緊張的發洩。例如：因父母不和，使孩子感到焦慮；因為有了一個新的弟妹，怕失去了父母親的愛；因為父母太忙，無瑕照顧他們而感到孤寂，沒有家庭的溫暖；又或者因為孩子太早被送往幼稚園，得不到適當的照顧而缺乏安全感。這些導致孩子焦慮、不安、緊張、惶恐都是心理緊張的成因。

孩子與成人一樣，心理緊張時需要發洩，這本是很自然的現象，成人為減輕心理緊張，往往用抽煙來鬆弛自己。孩子會用吮手指，或搖晃來發洩情緒緊張。在這情況下，為人父母者，除了要注意改善對孩子的態度外，應額外有耐心，應保持平和、慈祥的心態，使孩子感到放鬆沒壓力，反之父母表現擔憂、緊張甚或急於糾正而責罵，綁手指、塗苦藥等，只會弄巧反拙，增加孩子的不安，自己想改掉又不能自制，變成惡性循環，延長了吸吮手指的習慣。

However, most mothers work outside the home due to various reasons, and sometimes have to feed their children with a bottle. In such cases, special attention should be paid to the frequency and duration of feeding. Mothers should calmly allow their children to eat slowly, paying particular attention to the size of the bottle nipple hole. Only when the child is satisfied with sucking will they be less likely to develop the habit of finger-sucking. When an infant starts to enjoy sucking their fingers, it is an unconscious behavior. Their little finger moves around and unintentionally goes into their mouth, bringing them pleasure and satisfaction, leading to sucking.

 

Releasing Psychological Tension

However, if a child continues to suck their fingers at the age of 4 or 5, it takes on a different meaning. This may be a way of releasing psychological tension. For example, due to parental conflict, the child feels anxious; or because of a new sibling, they fear losing their parents’ love; or because the parents are too busy to care for them, they feel lonely and lack the warmth of a family; or because the child is sent to kindergarten too early and lacks a sense of security due to inadequate care. These factors can lead to anxiety, unease, tension, and fear in children, all of which are causes of psychological tension.

Like adults, children need to release psychological tension when they are anxious. This is a natural phenomenon. Adults often smoke to relax and relieve psychological tension. Children may suck their fingers or rock back and forth to release emotional tension. In this situation, parents should not only improve their attitude towards their children but also be extra patient. They should maintain a calm and gentle attitude to help the child relax and feel no pressure. On the contrary, if parents show worry, and nervousness, or are eager to correct and blame, or if they tie the child’s fingers or apply bitter medicine, it will only backfire, increase the child’s unease, and create a vicious cycle. This will prolong the habit of finger-sucking, as the child wants to quit but cannot control themselves.

預防和糾正的方法

1. 盡量用母乳餵哺，這是最自然、最適合嬰兒的哺乳方法，養成吸吮手指習慣的機會亦較少。

2.   家長用奶樽餵奶時，應特別注意餵奶的時間，能保持 15 至 20 分鐘是比較理想的。

3.   用玩具和洋娃娃等，與孩子多做手指的活動，以便轉移孩子吸吮的習慣。

4.   多接近孩子，一起玩耍、說故事和唱兒歌等，使孩子不致感到寂寞和無聊而吸吮手指。

5.   孩子吸吮得厲害時，父母仍應有耐性，保持安祥和不緊張的態度，有時不理會和不提點孩子，吸吮手指的現象反而自然地消失。

6.   如果孩子在 6 歲前已有吸吮手指習慣多年，自然會逐漸消失，尤其是當孩子白天不再吮手指，只有睡覺時才吮，這就表示已是尾聲了。父母應耐心等待，急於糾正是不生效的。特別是當孩子上幼稚園後，往往因不願在其他朋輩面前吸吮手指，又或者在學校忙於其他活動，吸吮手指的習慣會無形消失。

7. 吸吮後的手指會有難聞的氣味，如果 5 至 6 歲的孩子仍有吸吮習慣，可試試讓他嗅嗅難聞的氣味，可能因而糾正不良習慣。

Preventive and Corrective Methods

1.      Whenever possible, breastfeed, as it is the most natural and suitable feeding method for infants, and it reduces the chance of developing a finger-sucking habit.

2.     When using a bottle, parents should pay special attention to the feeding time, aiming for 15 to 20 minutes, which is ideal.

3.     Engage the child in activities with toys and dolls to redirect the finger-sucking habit.

4.     Spend more time with the child, playing, telling stories, and singing songs together to prevent the child from feeling lonely or bored, which can lead to finger-sucking.

5.     When a child sucks their fingers vigorously, parents should remain patient and calm. Sometimes, ignoring the behavior can lead to its natural disappearance.

6.     If a child has had a finger-sucking habit for several years before the age of 6, it will naturally diminish over time, especially if the child only sucks their fingers when sleeping. Parents should patiently wait, as hasty correction is ineffective. Particularly after starting kindergarten, the habit may disappear naturally due to the child’s reluctance to suck their fingers in front of peers or being occupied with other activities at school.

7.     Fingers sucked on will have an unpleasant odor. If a 5 to 6-year-old child still has this habit, letting them smell the unpleasant odor may help correct the behavior.

自閉症不再是秘密
Autism is no longer a secret

撰文：協康會教育心理學家團隊

 

家長要向人解釋孩子有自閉症的情況，有如自挖瘡疤，恐怕未能得到親友的支持之餘，還會惹來誤解或歧視。究竟家長應如何面對親友呢？

 

必須清楚自閉症的成因

 

家長向親友解釋時，首先必須清楚自閉症的成因是與家長疏忽或溺愛無關。自閉症的成因與腦部異常發展有關，故此影響了孩子的溝通能力、思考和行為模式，以及理解別人思想行為的能力。家長可列出大部分自閉症兒童的共同特徵，包括社交困難、頑固、焦慮、溝通困難、專注能力、活躍程度高低、非典型情緒反應、身體協調問題及不同的感官反應等。

Written by: The Educational Psychologist Team of the Heep Hong Society

 

For parents, explaining their child’s autism to others can feel like reopening a wound. They fear not only the lack of support from friends and family, but also the potential for misunderstanding or discrimination. So, how should parents approach this with their relatives and friends?

 

Understanding the causes of autism is crucial.

When explaining to friends and family, parents must first clarify that the cause of autism is not related to parental neglect or overindulgence. Autism is associated with abnormal brain development, which affects the child’s communication skills, thinking and behavior patterns, as well as their ability to understand the thoughts and actions of others. Parents can list the common characteristics of most children with autism, including social difficulties, stubbornness, anxiety, communication difficulties, focus ability, varying levels of activity, atypical emotional responses, physical coordination problems, and different sensory responses.

留意最新資訊

此外，家長可盡量留意自閉症的最新資訊，例如「執行功能」、「中央統合」和「心智解讀能力」等概念，一來可以令自己更容易明白子女的成長需要，當遇到親友有興趣了解更多，便可向他們深入解釋。當家長愈清楚自閉症，便愈容易讓親友認識孩子，或許一貫歧視的眼光，會因了解得更多而逐漸消失。家長知識上的裝備，能讓親友感到家長的積極和能力。

 

用具體形容詞形容孩子表現

另外，當家長形容孩子時，應用具體和正面的形容詞，例如記憶力強（而非「好記唔記」）、專注力弱（而非「心散」）、未能明白別人的要求（而非「不聽話、曳」）、重複相同的動作（而非「佢一定要…….」）或跟著拍子點頭（而非「鍾意音樂」）等抽象的形容詞。讓親友們明白，孩子與其他兒童一樣，都是天真無邪的小朋友。

Stay Updated with the Latest Information

In addition, parents can try to stay updated with the latest information on autism, such as concepts like “executive function”, “central integration”, and “theory of mind”. This can help them better understand their child’s developmental needs. When relatives and friends show interest in learning more, parents can explain these concepts in depth. The more parents understand about autism, the easier it is for relatives and friends to get to know the child. Perhaps the usual discriminatory views will gradually disappear as they understand more. The knowledge parents equip themselves with can make relatives and friends feel the parents’ positivity and capability.

 

Describe the Child’s Performance with Specific Adjectives

Furthermore, when parents describe their child, they should use specific and positive adjectives. For example, describe the child as having strong memory (instead of “good at forgetting”), weak focus (instead of “distracted”), unable to understand others’ demands (instead of “disobedient, dragging”), repeating the same actions (instead of “he/she must…”), or nodding to the beat (instead of “likes music”) and other abstract adjectives. Let relatives and friends understand that, like other children, their child is an innocent little friend.

不過，解釋終歸解釋，家長面對孩子「天天新款」的行為時，或許寧願選擇把孩子（甚至自己）帶離敏感場合，減低對親友做成的干擾，但相對也減少了孩子對社會適應的機會。相反，家長可主動誘導親友以合適的方法與孩子相處。例如正面地說「你可以說慢一點」、「孩子對聲音非常敏感，不如我們說話輕聲一點吧」或是「對不起，我可否首先知道行程，給我的孩子有心理準備？」如果親友能做到，已經踏出了成功的一步。

 

親友的視野需要被拉闊，然而最重要的，是家長須持開放接受的態度，成為親友的榜樣。當家長自己也接受自閉症，還有誰可以說「不接受」呢？

However, explanations are just explanations. When parents face their child’s ever-changing behaviors, they may prefer to remove the child (or even themselves) from sensitive situations to reduce the disturbance to relatives and friends. But this also reduces the child’s opportunities to adapt to society. Instead, parents can actively guide relatives and friends to interact with the child in appropriate ways. For example, they can positively say, “You can speak a little slower”, “The child is very sensitive to sound, let’s speak a little quieter”, or “I’m sorry, can I know the schedule first to prepare my child?” If relatives and friends can do this, it’s already a step towards success.


The perspectives of relatives and friends need to be broadened. However, the most important thing is that parents need to maintain an open and accepting attitude, setting an example for relatives and friends. If the parents themselves accept autism, who else can say “I don’t accept it”?

區角
Corner

學校環境及設施
Campus Facilites

汀角路正校 Ting Kok Road – Main School

安富道分校 On Fu Road – Branch School

課室佈置

正校A室
正校B室
正校C室
正校D室
正校E室
正校F室
分校A室
分校C室
分校F室

音樂場地

正校音樂場地
分校音樂場地

體能場地

正校體能場地 (1)
正校體能場地 (2)
正校體能場地 (3)
正校體能場地 (4)
正校體能場地 (5)
正校體能場地 (6)
分校體能場地 (1)
分校體能場地 (2)
分校體能場地 (3)

第六屆「卓越教育行政人員獎勵計劃」得獎名單公佈

各位家長、教職員及學生：
我很高興告知大家，本校丘莜美校長榮獲由香港教育行政學會舉辦之第六屆「卓越教育行政人員獎勵計劃」，頒發優異教育行政人員獎項，頒獎禮已於二零二四年一月二十日舉行。此殊榮不單反映丘校長的個人努力及對教育的熱枕，也代表得到各同工的支持及家長們的信任，本人謹再次代表校董會向丘校長致賀，並願一切榮耀歸於愛我們的天父上帝。
孫志成校監

Dear Parents, Staff, and Students: 

I am delighted to inform you that our Principal, Ms. Yau Yau-mei, has been awarded the Outstanding Educational Administrator Award in the 6th Annual Awards Scheme organized by the Hong Kong Council for Educational Administration(HKCEA). The award ceremony was held on January 20, 2024. This honor not only reflects Principal Yau’s personal efforts and passion for education, but also represents the support of all colleagues and the trust of parents. On behalf of the School Board, I would like to once again congratulate Principal Yau, and may all glory be to our loving Heavenly Father.

School Supervisor Mr. Sun Chi-shing
分類
家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地

學習和熏陶藝術真的這麼重要嗎？
Is learning and cultivating art really that important?

撰文：Pario Arts 李素貞主任

 

筆者從事教育工作多年，接觸到不少家長為孩子選擇一些「速戰速決」、短期內有成果的課程或課外活動，可以說是有點功利主義。相反，他們較為輕視非功利、追求美學的課程或課外活動。一般最能吸引家長關注的是子女能否參與比賽、有沒有檢定評級或成果是否顯著的學科或才藝班。

 

藝術教育對小朋友有長遠影響

筆者深深認為，在功利主義的教育制度下，對孩子未來的人生態度上會存著極深遠的影響。

 

藝術教育是獨特和美麗，而且是富於創造性的。孩子們不僅是學習藝術的理論和技巧，在過程中還會刺激他們的創意和想像力。長遠來說，藝術教育對小朋友的言談舉止，甚至是學習和思想上都有很大的幫助。

Written by: Pario Arts, Officer Lee Sou Jing

 

I have been engaged in education for many years and have encountered many parents who choose “quick and decisive” courses or extracurricular activities for their children, aiming for short-term results. It can be said that this approach is somewhat utilitarian. Conversely, they tend to underestimate courses or extracurricular activities that are non-utilitarian and focus on aesthetics. What typically captures parental attention is whether their children can participate in competitions, whether there are certifications or notable achievements in academic subjects or talents.

 

Long-term Impact of Art Education on Children

I firmly believe that under a utilitarian education system, there will be profound and lasting effects on children’s attitudes toward life.

 

Art education is unique, beautiful, and rich in creativity. Children not only learn the theory and techniques of art but also stimulate their creativity and imagination in the process. In the long run, art education has significant benefits for children’s speech, behavior, and even their learning and thinking.

從生活裡接觸藝術

我們每天在日常生活中都會接觸到藝術。我們在生活中可以找到很多美麗的東西，如豐富的情感、不同的品味、獨有的感覺和視覺上的享受，凡此種種都能讓您在繁忙的生活中有著舒泰的心境，亦能感受到這個世界的繽紛和樂趣，更能發掘出恬靜美的可貴。

 

父母需要以身作則 重視子女的想法

事實上，不論是智能教育或是重視培養美學的藝術教育，筆者認為最重要的是家長可以給予孩子陪伴和支持。如果您想養成孩子具有藝術涵養，就應該明白藝術教育要由自己做起，尤其是要懂得聆聽、接納和理解孩子的想法，包容孩子表達創意的方式，子女在幼兒階段就會很容易地養成美學氣質。

Encountering Art in Daily Life

We come into contact with art in our daily lives every day. In our lives, we can find many beautiful things, such as rich emotions, different tastes, unique sensations, and visual pleasures. All of these can provide a serene state of mind in our busy lives, allowing us to feel the vibrancy and joy of the world and discover the precious beauty of tranquility.


Parents Need to Set a Good Example and Value Children’s Thoughts

In fact, whether it’s intelligent education or art education that emphasizes cultivating aesthetics, I believe that the most important thing is for parents to provide companionship and support. If you want to cultivate your child’s artistic appreciation, you should understand that art education starts with yourself. It is crucial to listen, accept, and understand your child’s thoughts, and embrace how they express creativity, and in doing so, your children will easily develop an aesthetic temperament from an early age.

孩子長大與父母談心感尷尬 可以怎樣做？
How to handle the awkwardness when grown-up children find it awkward
to have heart-to-heart talks with their parents?

隨著子女長大，相信不少家長都發現子女愈來愈抗拒與父母談心，孩子可能是覺得尷尬，也可能是自小家庭關係不太緊密。精神科專科黃宗顯醫生指出：「自小與子女建立良好親子關係十分重要，但若家長懷疑子女出現情緒問題，除了留意子女行為有否變化外，亦可引導子女表達自己的想法，了解他們的內心世界。」

 

如前文提及，家長與孩子應自小建立親子關係，每天放下工作，給予雙方親子交流的時間，一起進行有趣的親子活動。黃醫生指：「緊密的親子關係有助孩子向家長表達內心，即使隨著年紀長大，他們亦會較願意表達自己，並對家人有所信任。」

 

惟若孩子不願透露自己想法，家長又察覺孩子的行為變化時（可參考：https://www.parentsdaily.com.hk/expert/4073），黃醫生建議家長應耐心引導孩子表達內心，「當孩子表達自己的想法時，家長應耐心聆聽，給予孩子表達的機會。與子女建立每天親子聊天時間，讓子女有渠道在家表達自己。家長要謹記一旦子女提及相關情緒問題的症狀時，家長不應作出批判，也不要處處否定子女。」

As children grow up, many parents may find that their children become increasingly resistant to having heart-to-heart talks. The children may feel awkward, or perhaps the family relationships have not been very close since childhood. Dr. Wong Chung Hin, a specialist in psychiatry, points out, “It is crucial for parents to establish a good parent-child relationship from an early age. If parents suspect emotional issues in their children, in addition to observing changes in their behavior, they can guide their children to express their thoughts and understand their inner world.”

 

As mentioned earlier, parents and children should establish a parent-child relationship from a young age, setting aside time each day for parent-child communication and engaging in interesting family activities together. Dr. Wong emphasizes, “A close parent-child relationship helps children express themselves to their parents. Even as they grow older, they will be more willing to express themselves and have trust in their family.”

 

However, if a child is unwilling to reveal their thoughts and parents notice changes in their behavior (refer to: https://www.parentsdaily.com.hk/expert/4073), Dr. Wong advises parents to patiently guide their children to express their inner feelings. “When children express their thoughts, parents should listen patiently and provide them with the opportunity to express themselves. Establish a daily parent-child chatting time, allowing children to have a channel to express themselves at home. Parents should remember that once children mention symptoms related to emotional issues, parents should not criticize or constantly deny their children.”

黃醫生續指：「每個人都會有自己想法和立場，家長亦然。曾經有家長告訴我，他的小朋友不願上學和做功課，每天要他上學，他的情緒便會失控。但當小朋友留在家打機又會很開心，令家長覺得小朋友只是懶惰和『扮嘢』。但家長應細心了解小朋友不願上學背後的原因，不應排除小朋友任何情緒問題，以免錯過處理情緒問題的重要時刻。」但若家長引導過後，孩子仍然對自己的狀況絕口不提，家長可與學校聯絡，了解孩子在校的情況等。

 

黃醫生憶述其中一個中學生個案：「這位學生有天突然自己致電診所，詢問看醫生是否一定要家長陪同。後來，這位學生與朋友一同來就診，才發現原來這位學生與家人關係不好，朋友聽他分享後，便建議他尋求專業意見。在治療的過程中，我與他慢慢建立良好醫患關係，得到他的信任，並希望能重建他與家人的關係。」黃醫生慨嘆並不是每個個案都能得到家人支持，因此學校角色都非常重要，年青人一旦遇到情緒或壓力問題，若無法找家人傾訴，可以尋求信任的成人協助。

 

面對近日不斷的輕生悲劇，黃醫生寄語家長要明白要孩子全人發展，不單單只有學業成績，更包含精神健康等。黃醫生深明孩子的壓力大多來自學習及家人期望，「不論學生或家長，希望大家都能在壓力環境下好好裝備自己，所謂的裝備並非補習，而是好好照顧自己的精神健康，在生活中取得平衡。家長及學校亦應教導學生了解精神健康的重要，促進學生身心健康的成長。」

Dr. Wong continues, “Everyone has their own thoughts and perspectives, and parents are no exception. I once had a parent tell me that their child refused to go to school and do homework, and their emotions would spiral out of control every time they were urged to go to school. However, when the child stayed home to play video games, they seemed very happy, leading the parent to think the child was just lazy and ‘pretending.’ However, parents should carefully understand the reasons behind the child’s reluctance to go to school and not dismiss any emotional issues the child may have, to avoid missing crucial moments for addressing emotional problems.” If, after parental guidance, the child still refuses to discuss their situation, parents can contact the school to learn about the child’s situation at school.


Dr. Wong recalls a case involving a high school student: “This student suddenly called the clinic one day and asked if it was necessary for parents to accompany him. Later, the student came for a consultation with friends, revealing that he had a poor relationship with his family. After sharing with friends, they suggested seeking professional advice. During the treatment process, I slowly built a good doctor-patient relationship with him, gained his trust, and hoped to help rebuild his relationship with his family.” Dr. Wong laments that not every case receives family support, so the role of schools is crucial. When young people encounter emotional or stress-related issues and cannot confide in their families, they can seek assistance from trusted adults.


In light of the recent increase in suicide tragedies, Dr. Wong advises parents to understand that a child’s holistic development involves more than just academic achievements; it also includes mental health. Dr. Wong understands that a child’s stress often comes from academic and family expectations. “Whether students or parents, I hope everyone can equip themselves well in stressful environments. Equipping oneself does not necessarily mean extra tutoring but taking good care of one’s mental health and achieving balance in life. Parents and schools should also teach students about the importance of mental health and promote the holistic growth of students’ physical and mental well-being.”

© Copyright Tai Po Rhenish Church Kindergarten. All Rights Reserved.